You Wipe My Tears Away
by skippidyskipskip
Summary: Paul and Rachel were in love before he even imprinted, but, after a tragic accident, Rachel leaves only to comeback to a world of vampires and werewolves.
1. The Meeting

_**Ok this is when Rachel is in Kindergarten and it's her first day of school. This story will skip around her age, and it will show how her relationship with Paul changes. Most people have voted for a Rachel and Paul story, so I am writing one now.

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"Rachie, it's time to get up," Momma said and stroked her hand across my cheek. "It's your first day of school."

I bolted out of bed and started tugging at Momma's shirt, "Momma! C'mon I need to get dressed!" Momma laughed and reached for my dress on the handle of the door. It gave me a funny feeling every time I saw it, and I can't help but smile. It is pink, white, and black polka dotted. I love it.

"Okay Rachel, raise up your arms." Momma held the dress over my head as I raised my arms up over my head. She simply dropped the dress on me and I giggled when she tied the bow in the back. I looked in my mirror and twirled around.

"Momma! Help me with my dress!" Becca whined. Momma smiled and slipped Becca's dress on too. Hers was blue with a jacket. Momma said that even though we are identical, we have completely different tastes. I like, Pink and purple and orange and yellow, while Becca only likes Blue, dark blue, green, and dark green. Her hair is at her shoulders with layers, and her hair flips out. Mine is straight with straight across bangs on my forehead and it goes all the way down to my butt. We look the same other than that though. We have the same little, cute noses with a freckle on our cheek, royal blue eyes, and really long eyelashes. We have pouty lips and we are the same height, and we have the same skin color. Momma says that we are little angles.

Momma always likes to play with my hair. Becca just screams and kicks. Momma has crimped, curled, and waved my hair. Today it is just straight and it is in a half pony with a pink, black, and white polka dot bow.

"Ok, now smile for Momma," Momma said and held a camera to our face. I smiled and did a curtsy. Momma said that it was very lady like. She clicked the button on top of the camera about a gazillion times before finally letting us leave.

I ran out of my room and ran into Daddy. He towered over me. I hugged his leg and smiled up at him. Daddy looked down at me and grunted when Becca did the same to his other leg.

"I'm going to be in a wheel chair one of these days because of you girls," He laughed, "Here are your backpacks." I turned around as he helped me put on my Cheshire Cat backpack as Momma put on Becca's Power Ranger backpack.

"Ok let's go," Dad's soft voice said as he grabbed our hands and we headed out the door. I was bouncing in my seat while Becca fell asleep.

Daddy stopped in front of a small school with two wings. One had K-1 on it and on the other wing, it said 2-3. Yes, I can read. Momma got tired of reading bedtime stories for me, so she just taught me.

"Ok girls, we're here," Daddy said and wiped his forehead.

"Yay!" Becca and I both yelled, and we hopped out of the truck. Daddy grabbed our hands again as he walked up inside.

"Ok, whose class do you want to go to first?" Daddy looked at both of us when we got into the entrance. Becca raised her hand. "Are you practicing, because you don't have to raise your hand to me?" Daddy asked. Becca put her hand down and blushed. We walked to Becca's classroom. The teacher was old and smelly. I scrunched up my nose when we walked in the room.

"You must be Rebecca Black," The teacher greeted me and I shook my head.

"No, I'm Rachel," I said and pointed to Becca, "That's Becca."

"Oh I am gravely sorry," The teacher apologized, "Is Becca a nickname for you?"

Becca shook her head, "Yes, but only Rachel is allowed to call me it." The teacher furrowed her eyes in confusion.

"Oh, that's fine, I'm Mrs. Cunningham," Mrs. Cunningham held out her hand to Becca, but she crossed her arms and looked the other direction.

"Becca doesn't touch anyone she doesn't know," I whispered, "And she's really shy."

Mrs. Cunningham nodded and held her hand out to Daddy. He shook it and we left Becca there. Not Becca! I ran back to her and gave her a huge hug.

I whispered in her ear, "Don't touch her until her smell goes away." Becca giggled and nodded. We did our secret handshake and I walked out of the room and grabbed Daddy's hand. He led me right next door to a room that was bright and colorful. The teacher didn't look any younger than Momma, and she was only twenty-five.

"Hello, you must be Rachel," The teacher smiled.

I nodded, "Finally someone got my name right." I smiled and held out my hand. She gladly shook it.

"I'm Miss. Mae," She showed me her perfectly white teeth and then looked at Daddy. "She is very beautiful." He chuckled and turned and left. I looked around and realized that I was alone for the first time in my life with no one to help me with things.

"Where do I sit?" I asked and looked up at Miss Mae.

"Anywhere you like." She smiled. A new family came in and I ran to the back of the room in the corner. I sat there and started day dreaming for a slight second before I heard a loud thump on my desk. I looked and saw the cutest boy ever. He had jet black hair that was styled in a messy way and he had dark brown eyes and he was tan, but not as tan as me.

I looked away and blushed. Boys have always made me shy, but this one made me so shy I couldn't introduce myself.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked at that boy from over my shoulder. Momma said it was attractive. I fluttered my eyes and tried to make them look bigger.

"Excuse me?" The boy asked, "Do you mind if I say that you are just about the prettiest girl I have ever seen, other than my mom of course? Shoot, you might even be prettier than her." I blushed and turned all the way around to see him.

"Really?" I asked and he nodded his head, "That must be really pretty if I'm prettier than your Momma." He giggled and I twirled my hair, "I think I would have to say that you are just about the handsomest boy I have ever seen."

The boy looked down and fidgeted with his shirt. He looked back up at me and smiled, "I'm Paul."

I held out my hand in a fancy way, "I'm Rachel, my sister Becca is in the other class. We are identical twins."

Paul shook his head, "Identical or not, you will always be prettier." I giggled and Paul took my hand and delicately kissed it. I gasped.

"How did you know how to do a prince kiss?" I asked, shocked.

"It just came to me, and I thought you would like it, did you?" He asked nervously. I nodded and bit my lower lip.

"Hey! Why is a girl sitting here?" A small, bony boy walked up and put his Spiderman lunchbox on the table.

I pouted and asked, "Well why are you sitting here? For your information, I sat here first."

"I'm sitting with my best friend!" He scrunched his nose up and started growling. I turned my head away and didn't look at him until Miss Mae came up to our table.

She smiled her perfectly white teeth at me. "Well Rachel, it seems like you are quite popular." I smiled brightly at her. Wow, it's my first day, and I'm already popular. What is popular?

"Miss Mae, what is popular?" She looked at me with a shocked expression, but it seemed like nobody else knew what it meant either.

"Good question, popular is where people like to be around you." I thought for a moment. It makes since. "Leah!" Miss Mae called, "You can sit here." A short girl with pigtails and big brown eyes walked up to my table.

"I'm Rachel," I smiled. She nodded and sat in her seat next to the mean boy.

Miss Mae walked to the front of the classroom and started to introduce herself, and what is required in kindergarten. Paul started twirling a piece of my hair.

"Paul, quit it," I whined, "The teacher's talking."

"Who cares?" Paul raised his eyebrows at me.

"I do," I whispered. Paul rolled his eyes, and dropped the strand of hair.

"Now I want you kids to stand up when it becomes your turn and introduce yourself and say your favorite color, activity, and any extras."

I put my chin in the palm of my hand and waited for it to be my turn. Finally, it was my tables turn. Leah stood up nervously and pulled at one of her pigtails. "I'm Leah Clearwater, and my favorite color is orange, and I like to dance and hang out with my dad." I smiled and clapped. The mean boy stood up next.

"Sup, I'm Sam, and my favorite color is blue, and I'm really cool." I rolled my eyes, like people are going to believe that. I guess I was wrong, because kids cheered.

Paul stood up next, "I'm Paul and I'm an only child, and my favorite color is red, and I like doing everything." I smiled and blushed.

I looked around and saw that people were waiting for me to stand up. I slowly stood up and looked around. "I'm Rachel Black. I have an identical twin named Rebecca, and my favorite colors are pink and yellow. I like to play piano, and read." Kids jaws dropped and Miss's Mae's eyes widened.

"You can read?" she asked and I nodded, "Little kid books like picture books?"

I shook my head, "No Miss Mae, I like to read stuff like The Magic Tree House. Once I finish reading all of those books, I am moving on to Harry Potter."

"And you play piano." It wasn't exactly a question.

"My Momma said I could start playing once I read my first chapter book. I can only play stuff like "Mary had a Little Lamb" or "Silent Night" because I started over the summer."

"How come you're already playing piano?" Miss Mae asked, amazed.

"Because I saw a school on TV and I liked what they played and Momma said if I worked hard, I would go there someday." I smiled and raised my eyebrows.

"And what is that school?" Miss Mae asked.

"Julliard I think." I shrugged and sat down.

"Oh ok, moving on," Miss Mae continued and shook her head. I blushed furiously, "These are the seats you will be sitting in the rest of the year, you each have a cubby that I will show you later." I tried to keep back a smile. Sitting by Paul the rest of the year! Sam is the oddest boy I have ever seen because he just started hitting his head on the table.

"Ok class, we are going to draw a picture of yourself, and your favorite things," Miss Mae explained as she passed out blank pieces of paper. She handed me a paper and I looked at her funny.

"I can't draw," I simply said. Miss Mae raised her eyebrows.

"Well I'm sorry Rachel, but everyone has to do this." She walked away and I crossed my arms. I looked over at Paul, and he was furiously drawing.

"Will you draw mine?" I asked and poked out my lip.

"You can't be that bad, I mean look at mine," Paul held up his paper, and it had scribbles all over it.

"I bet it can," I said and laughed, "What is that supposed to be anyways?" I asked, pointing to his drawing.

"I just scribbled on it, and I'm going to make up something when she asks me." I laughed and started to draw on my paper. I drew me, next to a gray wolf. My momma loves them too. Then I drew a red sun along with a heart.

"You draw better than me," Paul said, looking over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess, but I still can't draw, it isn't one of my favorite things to do at all." I leaned back in my chair and looked around the room. It was so strange compared to my house. There were signs that showed each and every color along with the alphabet, and numbers one to ten.

Other than that, it was quite boring. My momma said that by the end of the year, our classes will be filled with all of our projects that we will be doing.

"Alright Kindergarten, turn in your papers and you may line up at the door." Everyone stood up and I turned to Paul.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We are going to lunch," Miss Mae said.

"I asked Paul, not you." I glared at her. She doesn't realize that she isn't exactly my favorite person in this room.

"Well, I am sorry, but you need to be more polite." Her lips pressed into a thin line and she turned and walked to the line. I turned in my drawing at her desk and went to the back of the line.

Paul skipped up to me, "Why are you going to the back? Sam saved us a spot up front." I bit my lip.

"My mom said that more exciting things happen in line than sitting at a lunch table."

"And why is that?" Paul asked and raised an eyebrow at me.

"I think she said that we'd be too busy with food in our mouth." I simply said.

"Well I guess I'll stay back here with you then." Paul said and put an arm around my shoulders.

"Paul, what are you doing?" I giggled.

"Waiting in line for lunch, what are you doing?" I asked. I shook my head.

"No, why do you have your arm around me?" I pointed to his arm.

"Oh, just having my arm around my favorite girl." I rolled my eyes.

"Paul!" Miss Mae said sternly, "Keep your hands to yourself."

"But she's my friend." He argued.

"So, but that's the rules."

"Fine," Paul muttered, and his arm fell to his side. We walked to lunch in a single file line, and I would have to say, the line definitely isn't as fun as the actual lunch. I grabbed my tray, and looked for Becca. I would really like to introduce her to Paul.

I saw her sitting and talking to this girl with crazy curly black hair. I sat down next to her and smiled.

"So sissy, how was your day?" She looked at me and smiled.

"It was great! My teacher isn't as mean as she looks," I frowned.

"Mine wasn't, my teacher is mean, she made me draw, and she yelled at Paul." I looked at my food and suddenly lost my appetite. Momma usually fixes really good stuff for lunch, but this, is gross.

On my tray was spinach and burned pizza. "Who's Paul?" Becca asked and raised her eyebrows at me. I blushed.

"Well…"

"Me!" Paul dropped his tray on the table and sat by me. Beccas eyes widened.

"Hey Paul, this is my sister Rebecca," Becca smiled and then went back to her conversation with the curly haired girl.

"So!" Paul said, "Do you think that Sam and Leah will sit here today?" Like it was on cue, Sam and Leah sat down. "Never mind," Paul said and started digging into his food.

Leah was talking up a storm to Sam, so I decided to pick at my food. By the end of lunch, I was bored to tears. Recess was fun though. We jumped rope and played foursquare. Then, we went back to Miss Mae's class.

"Ok class!" Miss Mae said and clapped her hands together, "We are going to decorate your cubbies." I smiled in excitement, and Sam started hitting his head on the table again. When Miss Mae finished giving instructions, I basically ran to my cubby. I took stickers and put them all over my cubby, and then I wrote my name. I looked over at Paul, who looked very confused.

"Need help?" I asked as he carefully wrote his name.

"No, I'm fine." He mumbled and then drew a star by his name.

"Why aren't you decorating it completely?"

"Because, I want to write something on it each day instead of covering it." He looked at mine and then looked at me, making me bite my lip.

"Oh, ok, can I write something on yours then?" Paul nodded and handed me the marker. I took it and wrote, _Hi Paul, Love Rachel._ He looked at it and rolled his eyes, "Wow Rachel."

"You can read too?" I asked, shocked.

"Yeah, my dad taught me."

The rest of the day was quite boring, and I couldn't help but be relieved when Miss Mae announced that the buses were coming.

I walked outside and found Becca standing there, alone under a tree. I skipped over to her.

"Hi!" I smiled and she nodded, staring off into space. Momma pulled up in her car and I pulled Becca with me.

The car ride home was exciting. I never even talked; Becca was talking about her day, while I was waiting for dinner.

At dinner, Daddy smiled at us and shook his head, "I just can't believe you two are already in Kindergarten."

"Daddy," I giggled, "That's not that old."

"Right, so how was your day?" He asked. I told them about my day and how odd Sam was, but I couldn't help but blush when I mentioned Paul. I finished my story and Momma started giggling.

"Billy," She said, "I believe our daughter has a crush."

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion, "What's a crush?"

Momma sighed and said, "A crush is where you like a boy."

"I don't get it," I said, "Daddy's a boy, and I like him."

"Yes he is, but you really like this Paul, more than just like," She looked like she didn't have anywhere else to put it.

"Oh," I said and my eyes widened, and I blushed furiously.

"So that's who Paul is!" Becca exclaimed, "He sat so close to you at lunch, it was weird."

"Yeah, who was that girl you were sitting next to?" I asked, remembering the curly haired girl that Becca would not quit talking to.

"Her name is Sophie, she is my best friend," Becca smiled, and I felt hurt.

"I thought I was your best friend," I said quietly.

"Oh you are," Becca reassured me, "But you're my sister, and she's a new person, I can have two best friends, can't I?"

"I guess," I mumbled. After dinner, I went in the living room, and started practicing on the piano. I wish I could learn more complicated things.

After trying to play "Chopsticks", and failing, I put my head in my hands.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Momma asked and rubbed my back.

"I want to get better than I am, everything I play is boring."

"You'll get better the more you practice and the older you get." Momma said. I sighed and started practicing on something easier.

After about thirty minutes, Momma clapped her hands together, "Bedtime!" I groaned, but stood up and walked to my bedroom. I dressed into my pajamas, and crawled in bed. Momma and Daddy came in and tucked me in.

"Sweet dreams," Daddy said, kissed my forehead and left my room. I hated that saying because it always bad dreams, but tonight would be a good one because I knew who I would dream about.

Paul.

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**How was that? The next chapter, she will be in either fourth or fifth grade so don't worry about her being in kindergarten forever, her years go by really fast, but slow down when she turns into a teenager. Please Review!**


	2. Kissing Lessons

_**Hello! Ok so right now, Rachel is in 5**__**th**__** grade, and it's November. Her and Becca are getting ready to go to a LaPush football game against Forks High school.  
Thank God it is Summer Break, because now I can actually update A LOT more.**_

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"Mom! Where's my hoodie!" I yelled while putting bobby pins in my hair. It's the best game of the year, and I can't even find anything to wear.

Becca walked into the room looking perfect as usual, she had maroon shorts that say "Wolf" on the butt along with a paw print in yellow. She was also wearing a gold tank top, and her hair was in French braids with gold and maroon polka dot bows in them.

"Can you help me with my face paint?" Becca asked and handed me the Maroon and gold face paint. She closed her eyes and I put a gold warrior line on her top right cheek and a maroon warrior on the top left cheek.

"Done!" I said and screwed the caps back on. I looked at myself in my full length mirror and I was wearing gold shorts that said "Wolf" on the butt along with a paw print in maroon. I was also wearing a maroon tank top. My hair was also in French braids, and I also had maroon and gold polka dot bows in. Becca and I usually match at games.

"Mom! Where's my hoodie?" Becca asked. Mom walked in the room with my maroon LaPush High hoodie and Becca's gold one.

"Thank You!" We both thanked at the same time.

"Come here," Becca motion and I turned to her. She did my face paint the same as hers and I smiled. I slipped on maroon flip-flops, and walked out the door.

"Oh no!" I smacked my forehead with my hand and ran back to my room. I took maroon glitter, and put it on my eyelids. Becca did the same, and we walked out of my room, again.

"Aw, you girls look so cute," Mom said and started to grab her camera.

"Mom, don't," I whined, "You do this every game, take more pictures of Jacob, please."

My little brother, Jacob, looked up at me. He looks like everyone else in the family, but he has dark brown eyes. He even has the same pouty lips that Becca and I did when we were about his age. He has really chubby cheeks, but Mom said that would go away when he got older. He is only five.

"Maybe I want pictures of all of my children," Mom said and raised her eyebrow, "So someone pick up Jacob so we can have a family picture." I picked up Jacob, and he was in his soft maroon hoodie and black sweatpants. Mom clicked away on the camera and Jacob clapped his hands when she was done.

"Rachie look!" He pointed at Mom, "More pictures!" I put him on my other hip when his weight started getting heavier.

"Yes Jacob, I see," I mumbled and we started heading out the door. Once Jacob was born, Becca and I had to start sharing a room for his nursery. I don't mind that much because now we have bunk beds, and I get the top bunk.

I strapped Jacob into his car seat and walked over to the other door to get in. Mom turned around and glared at Becca and me. "Now you listen here," she said, "You _will_ come check on me every quarter, or else no more time with friends during the games." I tried to keep myself back from rolling my eyes. She does this _every _game; I can't believe she doesn't trust us. I nodded anyways.

"Fine," I grumbled and looked at my chipped, hot pink nails.

The ride to the game was rather annoying. Jacob kept on giving me kisses on my cheek and saying he loves me. Then, randomly, he would start crying, saying that I wasn't playing with him. He can be such a brat.

We arrived at the game just before the cars started crowding. We didn't have to walk that far at all. Becca and I started holding hands, and we skipped to the stadium. I turned to Mom, "Bye! I'll see you at the end of First Quarter!" Becca and I ran down the steps to the forty yard line front seats. They are the seats for 5th graders. Next year, we'll get to sit behind the field goal with all the middle school kids.

We got to the bottom, but no one was there yet, so I asked Becca, "Do you want a drink." She nodded and we walked back up to the top and grabbed a hot chocolate that the wrestlers were raising money for.

By then, the Bowl was so crowded that I had to grab Becca's shirt so I wouldn't lose her. We walked back down the giant steps and other 5th graders from our class waved at us. I sat down and sipped my hot chocolate while pretending to listen to peoples conversations and agree with them.

Then, Paul came. My heart fluttered every time I saw him. Too bad almost every girl likes him too. Sam followed right after him, holding Leah's hand. She was the tallest girl in our class, five foot three, I think. Becca and I are only four foot nine. Leah and Sam are "Going Out", but our teachers always get mad and say that we are too young to have boyfriends and girlfriends.

Girls started crowding around Paul and it made me sad. I would ask him out, but one, I don't have the guts, two, if he likes me, he should ask me out himself, and three, my mom said that I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend until middle school. Paul glanced at me, and I thought I saw something in his eyes, but then he looked away, basking in all the attention him and Sam were getting.

No, Paul isn't this some guy who never looks at me and I haven't ever talked to. Paul and I are actually great friends. We call each other almost every day. Once, we called each other so many times that our phone lines got mixed up. Everybody that called my house actually called his, and everyone that called his house called mine. Our parents got so mad that we weren't allowed to call each other for like a month. It was terrible.

Paul came over and sat by me, throwing an arm over my shoulder, "Geez girls are annoying." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"You do know that I am a girl, right?" Paul's jaw dropped.

"Oh my gosh! I am so sorry, I thought you were always a guy," He announced. I laughed and tugged at one of my braids.

"You are so stupid sometimes, you know. Those girls are annoying though, unlike me," I said and rolled my eyes, "They think they are so awesome because they told someone to shove a shampoo bottle up their butt." Paul knew exactly who I was talking about. Autumn and Bailey, the most annoying girls at school.

"Ha, yeah, Bailey just asked me out," Paul said casually and my heart stopped.

"W-what did you say?" Please no, please no, please no.

Paul shook his head, "As I said before, they are _annoying_. Plus, I like someone already, and I wouldn't want to say yes to her if I like someone else." A wave of relief washed over me, followed by more worry. Of course I knew that Paul liked someone, he told me when I asked, but he won't tell me who because I'm a "girl", and girls talk.

"Sometimes I think that you really don't like someone, you just have an excuse," I told him. He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"No, I really do like them, I just can't ask them out," Paul said sadly.

"Why?" I asked, "Are you not allowed to go out with anyone?"

Paul shook his head and rolled his eyes, "My mom doesn't care, but her mom does. I already know my answer."

My heart skipped a beat. My mom won't let me date anyone. But then again, tons of other girls at our school aren't allowed to either.

"You never talk about who you like anymore," Paul said and looked at me. He was dead serious too.

"Well," I sighed, "I do like someone, but as you know, my mom won't let me go out with anyone, so there's no use." Paul bit his lip, but then the crowd cheered. We scored another touchdown. I looked at the clock, and panic washed over me. I'm supposed to meet Mom in thirty seconds!

"Crap!" I yelled and stood up, "Paul, I have to find my mom!" Paul stood up too, and we found Becca talking to Leah. I grabbed her, and we basically sprinted to the other side of the Bowl, but we were stopped by The Rowdies.

"Cut through!" Becca yelled through all the noise. I grabbed Paul's hand, and almost fainted, but it didn't matter now, I needed to get to Mom. We barely got to her on time after going through the maze of Rowdies.

"Hey Mom," I said breathlessly. I looked at the clock, two seconds left. I sighed in relief, and Mom smiled.

"Ok, bye." I was a tiny bit mad that she just said bye right when we got there, but it was typical, we are only checking in after all. Paul nudged me when we were walking back down the stairs. Becca was already running back to her conversation with Leah.

I looked at Paul, "I don't feel like going back over to where we normally sit." I nodded and we walked over to the other field goal, next to the practice field. Becca doesn't like it over there because she said it was creepy, but I think it's peaceful.

We sat on the stone wall, and I let my legs swing. "Have you ever had your first kiss?" I blurted. I covered my mouth, and blushed furiously. Paul's eyes widened, and he looked at me, shocked. "Sorry, it slipped."

"It only slips when you were thinking about it," Paul said quietly. I looked forwards and didn't say anything. He won't know anything if I don't say anything. "The answer is no." Paul said after what felt like hours.

"Oh," I said quietly. I ignored eye contact with Paul by watching the football players run down the field.

"Rachel," Paul said softly, "Have you?" I looked at him and he looked at me with his big brown eyes.

I blushed and looked down, "No," I kicked my feet on the cement wall. The fans cheered another touchdown. The announcer announced the touchdown, and the crowd sang the school song, followed by a wolf howl.

"Awesome," I said sarcastically, "We scored _another_ touchdown."

"Rachel," Paul said and stared straight into my eyes, "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Five bucks my eyes were the size of softballs. My stomach whirled and all I could do was nod slowly.

Paul leaned in slowly and pressed his lips very softly to mine. My heart fluttered. Too quickly, he pulled away. Paul smirked, "Now you can say that you kissed someone." I probably looked like a moron because I was in shock. I was breathing heavily and my eyes were still the size of softballs.

I swallowed, getting ready to say something, but nothing came out. "So was I the person you liked?" Paul rolled his eyes and then nodded.

"You are very oblivious Rachel; I've been giving you hints all year." He said and shook his head and sighed. "I never even thought you would like me, I'm not your type."

I raised one eyebrow at him, "And who told you that?"

Paul looked down and blushed, "I asked Bailey like a month ago if you liked me and she laughed and said never because I'm not your type."

I would have laughed if I weren't still in shock from the kiss. "You do know that we don't get along, right?"

Paul shrugged, "I do now." I smiled and laid my head on his shoulder. But, the fun was over too soon. Becca started walking towards us with Leah, followed by Sam and the pack of kids that follow him around.

"Can't get any peace at these games, can we?" Paul asked and I laughed and hopped off the wall. So many thoughts were swarming in my head. Paul kissed me crossed many times through my head. I mean come one! Paul kissed _me_! I would be screaming and shouting and happy dancing, if it weren't going to be awkward. So, I just stood there, but I couldn't get that stupid, bright smile plastered on my face off.

Becca looked at me and gave me a questioned look. I shook my head and gave her a look that said later.

Leah started cheering when Forks High School threw an interception. Becca started cheering and Sam yelled, "Do your flippy thingy!" So Becca ran onto the only flat surface in the grass and did a round-off, followed by as many back handsprings that she could do.

I laughed and almost joined her, but I wasn't in the mood. Mom put Becca and me in tumbling one, because Becca wanted to, and two, because Mom said I needed to do other things than read and play the piano. We can only do layouts right now, but I'm quitting next year. Mom bought a trampoline for us too, so I can always practice.

"Jason! What are you doing!" Becca yelled, ripping me out of my thoughts. I turned around to see Jason yelling at Paul. Oh no, Paul was getting angry. I stepped forward, but it was too late. Jason threw a punch at Paul, and luckily missed, but then Paul punched Jason in the mouth. Jason was knocked back. He shook his head, spit out blood, and then went after him.

"No!" I yelled and ran towards the fight. "Guys, quit!" I tried to get them to stop by talking, but it didn't work. I waited until that split second apart before I got in between the guys. Jason came forward after Paul, and I shoved him with all of my strength away from him. Then, I pulled Paul with me, and he was still trying to go after Jason.

"I'm going to kill that mother fu-" Paul started, but I cut him off.

"You better not cuss in front of me," I lectured, "Come on, you need to calm down. Whatever he said, or you said, let it go. This won't end up very good Paul." I put my hands on either side of his face and made him look me straight into the eyes. "Got it?"

Paul sighed and grabbed both of my wrists, "Yeah, I'm fine now." I let my hands drop, and looked at him, searching for anymore anger.

I looked around, "Come on; let's go before the police come. My mom won't be happy if we got in trouble." Paul nodded and him and Sam started heading back to the 5th graders original spot in the Bowl. I turn back to a very frightened Becca. Her hands were wrapped around her knees, and she was shaking. "What happened?" I asked.

"They were arguing about you I think." Becca said and stood up.

I was filled with shock, "Me? Why?" Becca shrugged and she started walking back to the section also. I looked at Jason, who was still very mad.

"Just leave us alone," I said and stepped towards him. This time, I was the angry one. "No one messes with you? Do they? I don't think so!" Jason muttered something under his breath and then shook his head. I took another step towards him, "What? I'm sorry, I can't hear you, you mumble too much!"

"I said forget about you, because you aren't worth it." He said and his hands clenched into fists.

"What are you even talking about?" I asked, "Never mind, bye." I walked away and Jason started saying something, but I didn't listen.

Jason is in my class this year, and he is kind of cute, but he is very anger management. He always wants to sit by me in class, but around his friends, he's a jerk and he always slams my locker shut when I'm still using it, it makes me so mad sometimes. Becca says I should just let it go because most likely, he likes me. I don't understand why boys are so mean to you when they like you.

The rest of the game when by in a blur, or I was too busy paying attention to Paul that I didn't even notice that the game was over with a win of thirty-five to seven. Becca nudged me, but I pushed her away, still staring at Paul like a total creeper.

"Rachel, come on, you've been staring at Paul the entire game, we have to go," She urged. I stood up, shaking out of my daze, and I smiled at Becca. She raised one eyebrow and the turned around and ran up the steps to my parents. I ran after her, not looking back at Paul.

The car ride home was awkwardly silent because Becca knew something was up, I had to tell Becca about Paul, and my parents never talk when they're driving. I looked out the window and thought about Paul. He was the one boy that has always been nice to me. He so cute with his dark brown eyes and his longish hair that flips out at the ends. Everything about him is attractive to me. The way he smiles slowly and shows his perfect white smile.

The car parked and I quickly jumped out and raced for my room. My parents gave each other a questioned look and then shook their heads. Becca raced after me when I reached my room, I left the door open for Becca, but as soon as she walked in, I closed it and jumped on my bed.

"Ok, what have you been trying to tell me, because you have been waving secret in my face all night!" Becca asked jumping on the bed sitting next to me, cross-legged.

"I kissed Paul!" I exclaimed. Becca stared wide-eyed at me for a split second before screaming.

"Oh my gosh Rachel! When did this happen?" She asked and she sat on her knees and gave all of her attention to me.

"Whenever we were sitting on the stone wall, right before you came." I told her.

"What was it like?" Becca asked. Becca has never had her first kiss. She's always wanted it too. I usually get to experience things first, and I think that upsets her. That's why I'm quitting cheer. I always got to try new stunts first. Besides, cheering is her sport, not mine. So I explained every emotion about the kiss and how it felt.

When I finished, Becca's eyes saddened. "I wish I could have my first kiss," She said sadly. She started playing with her hands and I started feeling sorry for her. She's had a harder time making friends because she's extremely shy.

"You will," I said and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. There was a knock on the door, and mom peeked her head in our room.

"Girls, go to bed, it's nearly ten o'clock." She closed the door and I smiled at Becca and climbed up the ladder to the top bunk.

"Night, Becca!" I said and she turned off the light to our room. I grabbed a small flashlight and started writing in my diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_At school I showed everyone that I could play the beginning of "Boston" by Augustana on the piano, and I did amazing. I was also Paul's partner for math flashcards, and I fell out of the chair and landed on Paul on the floor. It was embarrassing, but he took it pretty cool, and laughed. Lunch was disgusting as usual, and at recess I had to go in to woods to get the soccer ball because I was the only one who wasn't allergic to poison ivy. All in all, it was a good day, I even got an 'A' on my United States and Capitals Test.  
The Mighty Wolves won yet another game 35-7. They have an undefeated season, and I am pretty sure we will win State. Ok since I cannot keep it in anymore, I am going to tell you something very important. PAUL KISSED ME! My very first kiss. And accidentally bumping into Sam Uley in second grade does NOT count because I about barfed. It was amazing. Anyways, there was a fight between Paul and Jason. I would have to agree that Paul does have anger issues, but he's usually fine when I'm with him. Once, I told him that as long as he sticks with me, he won't be angry. And then he told me that he guessed he would have to be with me forever. It's so sweet. Oh yeah! My mom made me and Becca wear our first bras today. I felt so special, and somehow part of the group now. Becca thinks they're uncomfortable. So this is what I think will happen by the end of fifth grade. Becca will get her first kiss, I will get straight 'As', and Paul and I will secretly go out. Well, I'm going to bed because I have nothing else to write, and it's passed my bedtime and I'm tired, so…  
GOODNIGHT!  
Love,  
Rachel._

I set the page in my diary, and hid it under my pillow. I turned off the light and wrapped up in my blanket. Fifth grade, one grade before middle school. Where we will be so cool with older kids. I smiled to myself before drifting off to sleep, waiting for the rest of the year.

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_**How did you like it? I will be updating more often because it's summer so expect one in the next few days. Review!**_


	3. Troublemakers

_**Hey! Here is another chapter! The years are going to start to slow now that Rachel is older so be excited! Rachel is in 8**__**th**__** grade now and she is 14 and it is January, right after winter break. Their birthday is September 14.

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**_

I woke up to the lovely sound of my phone alarm. By lovely, I mean awful. I grabbed my hot pink razr, and chucked it off the top bunk. Luckily, my phone is indestructible, so it just bounced of the orange wall and landed on the carpet next to where Becca was standing.

"You know," She said when she finished a curl with her curling iron, "Throwing it doesn't help. Mom said that if we break it, then we don't get another one." I rolled my eyes and went back to sleep. About a minute after I dozed off, Becca yelled and smacked me with a pillow. "Rachel, get up! It is six fifteen!" I sat straight up, smacking my head on the ceiling.

"Ow!" I put a hand on where I smacked my head. I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom, where Jake was hogging it. "Jake get out! I need to take a shower!" Little eight year old Jacob looked at me and smirked.

"Say please," He said giving me an evil smile.

I rolled my eyes, "Please."

He smiled and said, "Nope, I'm in third grade now, I need to use the bathroom in the morning too."

"Too bad, I'm older." I said and dragged him out of the bathroom.

"Age is just a number!" He argued, "You use that on Mom and Dad all the time!"

"I don't care, I'm bigger, stronger, and smarter, now get out you twerp!" I pushed him completely out of the bathroom and locked the door. I stepped into the shower and heard Jake screaming and pounding on the door. I smiled and let the warm water rush around me. When I finished my shower, I stepped out and heard Mom and Dad lecturing Jacob about his little tantrum. I wrapped a towel around me and stepped out of the bathroom and looked at Mom and Dad. I smiled and continued towards my room.

"See," Mom said sweetly, "Now that she's done, you can use the bathroom." I heard Jake run to the bathroom and slam the door shut. I walked in my room casually and went inside my walk-in closet to change (The only good thing about having to share a room). I threw on a white t-shirt that said peace all over it along with my favorite pair of jeans that have holes on the knees, against the dress code.

I walked out of my closet, drying my hair, and went to my vanity. Becca came up behind me when I started brushing my medium longish hair. When my flatiron was hot I started straightening my super layered hair and bangs. I have an emo hair cut, but trust me, I'm not. Becca and I try not to match anymore, but people still get us mixed up.

"I think you broke a record with your showers, is that six minutes?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip.

"I don't know, I don't time myself," I said while putting on black eyeliner. I turned to look at Becca's outfit, and of course it's Hollister, or one of those fancy designer stores, they all look the same to me. I honestly do not care what I wear. But, oh well, Becca's been wearing clothes like that since she started hanging out with Autumn and Bailey. I don't want to get into their little drama, "I think I'm popular, but secretly everyone hates me," group. She knows that none of them in the group are actually friends, it's just an image. I think it's stupid and ridiculous. I rolled my eyes and started putting on mascara, and then I was finished. I don't wear piles of foundation like they do either. I'm already tan, and I don't get acne so I'm good.

I turned back to Becca and grabbed my hot pink and black plaid shoulder bag and started heading out the door. "Don't forget your phone," Becca said and tossed it to me.

"Thanks," I said when I caught it. Becca and I are still basically best friends, but we don't have the same friends. I got to the kitchen, grabbed a package of chocolate poptarts, and headed out the door. Jake was already outside with his SpongeBob Squarepants backpack. He looked extra clean today with his slicked back hair. It'll be messed up by the end of the day, I started to tell him, but I won't crush his little third grade heart.

"Why are you so dressed up?" I asked when I reached him. The wind blew, and I caught a whiff of Dad's aftershave, "And what's with the aftershave?"

He looked at me and shook his head slowly, "Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. You just wouldn't understand. I'm a grown man now, and grown men have responsibilities, making money, fishing, and taking care of their woman."

I smiled, "Oh, so you have a girlfriend, is she in your class?"

Jake blushed and then puffed out his chest, "I'm dating an older woman, but we have to have a long distance relationship."

"And who is that?" I asked. Jake blushed again and then mumbled something. "What is that? I can't hear you."

Jake looked up at me and whispered, "Bella Swan."

I laughed, "You mean Charlie's daughter? You've met her once and you were five."

"So!" He said, "She's coming today, and I'm going to impress her."

"What? With your mud pies?" I asked and he blushed. I pushed his shoulder with my fist as my bus drove up.

"Good luck!" I yelled and Becca came running out the door. She may get up first, but she is always the last one out the door. I sat in a seat next to Leah and pulled out my cd player. I handed her the left ear head phones. The bus ride was quiet as usual because Becca and I are the last ones on and the ride is about ten minutes.

I looked behind the seat and saw Paul and Sam in the very back, flirting with any girl that was around them. Sam was flirting a storm with Becca as usual. They're going out now, and that's why Becca and Leah aren't friends anymore. Paul and I are on and off. At this very moment in time, we are on. People are making bets about whether or not we'll survive the summer. It's nowhere near summer. Paul looked up and winked at me. I blew him a kiss and sat back down.

"I still can't believe she stole him from me, can you?" Leah asked.

"Technically you guys weren't going out." I said, "But it was mean."

Leah started babbling about how fake she thought Becca was, and I couldn't help but be relieved when we pulled up to school. I let Leah through and then waited for everyone before Paul to get off the bus. Thankfully, Mr. Taylor, our school principal, wasn't here. None of the teachers really care about the rules, but she does. Paul stopped at my seat and let me go in front of him. We started going out on the first day of the school year.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked while putting an arm around.

"Nope," I said, but my chattering teeth told me different. "I forgot my jacket at my house."

"You are lucky I brought another jacket for you. I can't believe you forgot your jacket in the middle of winter." Paul handed me a maroon basketball hoodie, so I handed him my bag so I could put it on. The sleeves were super long, but I like it. I took my bag and Paul slung one arm over my shoulders and I snuggled into him. We walk past one of the sixth grade teachers, not even worrying about getting in trouble for P.D.A.- Public Display of Affection. If a teacher does speak up, we just walk on like we don't hear them.

"So, what do you think about this new thing with Sam and Rebecca?" He asked as we headed towards my locker upstairs.

"Um," I said choosing my words carefully, "I love Becca and all, but I don't think they'll last. Sam likes the tomboy type, and Becca is definitely not a tomboy. Her bedspread is hot pink with flowers, come on.

Paul laughed at my statement, "I completely agree."

I nudged him, "You always agree with me, loser." This got a laugh along with him picking me up from behind, and spinning me around. I squealed and then Paul put me down and kissed me on the nose.

I smiled and started putting my combination in my lock for my locker. Some sixth grader walked up and smacked my butt. "What the hell?" I said turning around to see who it was, but he was gone.

"Stay here," Paul said putting his hands on my shoulders and then he ran off to get the stupid kid.

"Why does Paul always have to get pissed off?" I asked to myself. I put my bag in my locker and ran after him. I found Paul at the end of the hallway holding up the sixth grader against the wall.

"Do you know who I am?" Paul asked angrily. The shaking sixth grader nodded. "Then why did you smack my girlfriends butt?"

The kid looked at Paul straight in the eyes and said the worst thing ever, "She's fucking sexy." That made Paul even madder, of course.

"No one smacks my girlfriend's ass, got it?" Paul said.

"Paul!" I interrupted. Paul's eyes flicked over to me for a second before returning to the kid's. "Oh no, you do not ignore me like that!" I said, "Let go of him now." Paul's eyes narrowed before he dropped the kid, who scurried off. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows at him.

"I was doing fine without your help. That kids probably going to do it again now." He said. Paul was still pissed off, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. He put his chin on my head and sighed.

"Sorry I got mad," He mumbled.

"I know you are," I smiled and grabbed his hand. We walked back to my locker, again, so I could get my books. I set my books in my homeroom before heading out in the hall again.

"Miss Black, where are you going?" Mr. Birdface asked. No his name is not actually Birdface; I just nicknamed him that because I honestly have no idea what his name is.

"Paul broke his leg because he fell out of a tree, so I'm carrying his books to class," I smiled my biggest smile and fluttered my eyelashes at Birdface and he nodded, letting me leave.

"Did it work?" Paul asked when I turned the corner.

"Of course, as usual." I smile and gave Paul a kiss. He made the kiss grow stronger, so I pulled away. I gave him my look and he shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with trying," He said and kissed my forehead. I grabbed his hand and headed downstairs, towards the gym. We reached the gym and I peered through the doors to find any authority around. The coast was clear so we snuck into the weight room. I sat on the table and watched him try and curl two hundred pounds. I laughed at him when he failed. I grabbed my camera that I stashed in one of the file cabinets, and took a picture of Paul's butt.

"Hmm," I said showing him the picture, "I think I'll make this poster sized." Paul rolled his eyes, went behind the table, and started playing with my hair.

"Your hair is so beautiful," He said. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I turned around and stood on my knees, almost Paul's height, but not quite. I'm a good five feet one inch and he's about five feet eight inches. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. We don't sneak around to make out, trust me, I don't allow it. We haven't even made out. Paul held me close until the door swung open.

We abruptly broke apart and I looked at Mr. Taylor. His dark face was getting dark red as he started getting angry, "To my office, now!" He pointed out the door as if we didn't know where it was. I've never been there, but Paul does because he gets into fights when I'm not at school. Paul helped me off the table and then we stood a good two feet away from each other. "Oh and holes in your jeans! There's another detention."

"Seriously!" I yelled and I stormed out of the room, Paul quickly followed. We looked at each other and started cracking up. We reached Mr. Taylors and sat by each other behind his desk. He came in and sat at his desk and looked at us sternly.

"I am very disappointed in you!" He started, "I can expect this from Paul, but you Miss Black, never! Especially since you are one of my favorite students. I will let you off with a warning and give you a day of AEA, but Paul, you have AEA for a week."

"Joe, I'm sorry," Paul said, "I am such a bad influence on Rachel, she didn't ask for this. Give me her day of AEA, she wants to go to a good college, and I don't care." Paul smiled his charming smile.

"One, stop calling me Joe, two, If you wish to take Miss Black's AEA as your own, then you have AEA for a week and a day. Miss Black return to class, Paul, go to AEA."

I nodded and walked out of the office. When I got to class, I was attacked by questions.

"Where were you?" Becca whispered.

"Found out that Mr. Taylor really is here," I said casually. Her eyes widened in shock. Sam passed me a note.

_Where's Paul?_

I pulled out a pen and wrote,

_We got busted for P.D.A. in the weight room and when we got to the office, Paul took the blame. _

When Sam read the note, he shook his head and sighed. The rest of the day went by really slowly without Paul. When the Lunch bell rang, I almost sprinted out of my science class. By the time I got to the cafeteria and had my food, Paul was at my table.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Hey baby."

"Paul I cannot believe you did that for me. I could have gotten both of us out of there without any AEA," I said and sat down next to him.

"Ok then, no hey Paul how was AEA?" He grumbled. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Hey Paul, how was AEA? That was so sweet of you to take the blame, but I could have figured out a different way to get us no AEA." I said sweetly.

Paul smirked, "That's more like it."

"Thought so." I started eating my salad when Leah sat down.

"Hey, where were you in homeroom?" She asked and I told her what happened. "Man, I wish I had a boyfriend, but no, your sister took mine."

"Hey guys!" Becca said obliviously, "I decided to sit with _my _boyfriend today, if you don't mind."

"I'm fine with it," I said, so she sat down. Soon after, Sam sat next to Becca, which was also next to Leah.

He looked at both of their glaring faces and said, "Well this is awkward." His eyes screamed help.

"You're on your own," I smirked. Of course, Becca's followers, Autumn and Bailey, sat with us too.

"I just lost my appetite," I said and shoved my chair back. I took my tray, and dumped it in the trash, and left. Paul caught up with me and put an arm around me.

"Something wrong?" He asked. I leaned into him and nodded.

"I hate Becca's friends. I don't know how she ended up hanging around them, but she did."

He wrapped his other arm around me, giving me a huge hug. "I don't like them either. I like Rebecca, but not Autumn and Bailey, and I'm starting not to like Sam because he is basically in love with Leah but he goes out with Becca to make her jealous."

I snuggled into him and we walked to the gym. When we first started going out, people would spread rumors about us. Saying that he just feels sorry for me, or that we don't even talk, some people have even said we've had sex in the school. None of those are true at all. I haven't even been French kissed because I won't let him because I am way better than that. Tommy Stepp, our recess chaperone, glared at us so Paul let go of me.

"You know what I can't wait for?" Paul asked.

"What?"

"High School, because you don't get in trouble for kissing your girlfriend." He said, nudging me.

"Is that seriously what you're excited for?" I asked laughing.

He nodded, "Aren't you tired of getting in trouble for holding hands?"

I sighed, but I had to agree with him. The rest of the day went by quickly, Paul was still in AEA, but I only had two periods left.

When we got home, Becca glared at me.

"What?" I asked when we entered the kitchen.

"I can't believe you're friends with Leah!" She exclaimed.

"Whoa!" I said holding up my hands in defense. "I am not getting into your fight."

"You should, and you should take my side, I'm your sister!" She glared.

"I don't care, I am not getting into this, now please, leave me in peace." I said and headed upstairs. My phone started vibrating in my pocket, and I flipped it up to see Paul calling me.

"Hey!" I said when I answered. I shut my room door and started climbing up my ladder to the top bunk.

"Do you wanna go do something tonight? We could go to the beach or something like that."

"Uh," I hopped off my bed, "Do you mind if I bring Jacob and Charlie Swan's daughter? I promised my dad that I would watch them while he and Charlie went fishing."

"Yeah, no problem." Paul said, "See you at four?"

"Yup."

"K, love you, bye babe."

"Love you, too" I flipped my phone shut and ran out of my room and saw that Charlie and Bella already arrived.

"Ah Bella, say hello to your babysitter, Rachel." Bella smiled shyly. I gave her a huge grin.

"I'll get Jacob," I said and walked in his room.

"Hey," He shouted, "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Nope, come one," I said and grabbed his hand, "We're taking Bella to the beach."

"Bella?" He asked dreamily.

"Yes, Bella, come on." We walked out the door and I grabbed Bella's hand and kissed Dad bye.

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We reached the beach and I saw Paul lying in the rocky sand, eyes shut, shirt off. I smiled and told Jacob and Bella to build sandcastles, but not to play in the water because it's too cold. I laid next to Paul and grabbed his hand. He squeezed my hand and sat up to look at me.

"You are so pretty in the sunlight," He complimented. I sat up and kissed him. He smiled under my lips as if he's saying mission accomplished in his head.

"Ew!" Jacob yelled. We broke apart and I glared at Jacob.

"What do you want!"

"Bella fell in the water!" Jacob yelled. My heart skipped a beat.

"Shit!" I ran towards the shore and saw Bella trying to swim up to shore. I ran and grabbed her. She was shaking violently and I grabbed a towel to warm her up. Her blue lips were chattering.

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

"I tttrripped." She stuttered. I nodded and wrapped an arm around her. I looked at Paul with an apologetic look.

"So much for going to the beach."

He shrugged, "I'll walk with you home."

We walked in silent. Paul ended up carrying Bella because she was too tired to walk. I ended up carrying Jacob on my back because he wanted a piggyback ride. When we got home Bella and Jacob ran inside, giggling. I looked at Paul sadly.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he said and grabbed the back of my neck to kiss me. I kissed him eagerly. He broke free and waved as he left. I smiled, giddy from the kiss. I walked inside and fixed Jacob and Bella mac and cheese for dinner. I then started practicing piano. I am so close to my goal, and I will not give up. I started playing a lullaby, that eventually, Bella and Jacob fell asleep on the couch. Cutest kids in the world, even if one of them is my brother.

I put a blanket on them and grabbed a book to read for the night. This was going to be a long year.

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_**How did you like that one? I updated a lot quicker than I thought I would. Review please!**_


	4. Accidents Happen

_**Sophomore year for the twins! They are beginning the year as fifteen years old, and they can't wait to be sixteen! It is September 7, so they didn't just start their sophomore year. Rachel and Paul are still dating of course, and Becca single, but looking. Leah and Sam have been together sense freshman year. Jacob is a fifth grader and he is ten. From now on, the time period is going smoothly instead of skipping years.

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The bell rang and I was excited to get out of school and to the yearly festival that the people on the reservation host on the beach. I walked out of class and smiled at my boyfriend for two years, one month, and two days. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed my forehead.

"Excited about the festival?" he asked while holding my bag so I could get into my locker.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? An entire evening with you, like a dream come true," I fantasized. He smiled and I closed my locker and took my bag from him. We held hands as we got to his truck and I put my stuff in the back. Paul came up to me and stared at me with his intense brown eyes.

I stood up on my tip toes to kiss him. Being only five foot one inch is hard when you're dating someone whose five foot ninish. Paul noticed my struggle, so he grabbed my hips, placed me on the hood of his truck, and kissed me. I tangled my hands in his hair and his tongue traced my lips I pulled back and cocked my head to the side.

"Paul, not at school," I said and he gave me puppy eyes, "I don't care, not at school." He sighed and helped me down from the hood. I got in the passenger side while he was driver. He got his license in July. We drove to the fair while I took off my shirt so I was in only a blue tank top. I was in white jean shorts and my hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. I have to admit that I turned into a girly girl over the years, but I don't mind.

Paul drove with his left hand while he held mine in the right. I smiled and looked out the window towards the woods. Goosebumps rose on the back of my neck as I thought of the Quileute legends. If there were wolves out there, that meant that there were also vampires. So, I imagine that it's just a silly story. I looked at Paul, and studied his face. It's the same Paul that I have always known, but I feel like I get even happier when I see him. He caught me staring, and smirked.

I blushed and looked away. I saw the Ferris wheel in the distance and excitement started rising in me. We parked the car a ways off so we had more time alone when we walked back and forth. We got out and Paul grabbed my hand and kissed it. I giggled. We walked to the fair talking about our day. Paul is the only person in the entire world that knows everything about me. He hasn't gotten angry since eighth grade, and it makes me feel special to know that Paul also depends on me.

We entered the fair, and I looked at all the rides. "Which one do you want to ride?" Paul asked.

I pointed towards the Ferris wheel, "If we can find Sam and Leah, we could ride that." Paul nodded and he searched the crowd and quickly found the happy couple. We quickly got on the ride, and as soon as it reached the top, it turned off.

"Great," I said sarcastically. I looked at Sam and Leah and shouldn't have. They were basically eating each others faces. I leaned into Paul, and he kissed my forehead. I looked up at him, and he kissed me. The ride jerked, and I was thrown into his lap. He kept me from falling by placing both hands on my ass. I held onto his shoulders and stared intensely at him. Was it bad to say that I was extremely turned on? I kissed him eagerly and his tongue slid into my mouth.

Someone cleared their throat, and I turned to see Leah giggling. "And I thought we were bad," she said. Sam just looked at us sternly. Sam always seems like the mature one. Probably because his mom kept him in preschool an extra year, so he's been sixteen since February. He's been moody lately though. I turned back and kissed Paul before I sat back into my seat.

"Am I taking you home tonight?" Paul asked. I shook my head and looked up at the sky. Evil looking storm clouds were forming.

"My parents are going to need me to drive them home for they will be intoxicated," I said and laughed.

We got off the ride, and it started sprinkling. I pulled Paul under a tent that looked a lot like a bar and we sat in there, holding hands and I laid against him tiredly. He eventually wrapped an arm around me so I would be more comfortable. I fell asleep. I woke up in Paul's arms still when I woke up. He was also asleep. I looked outside, and it was pitch black. I checked my phone, and it said nine thirty. I nudged Paul. He jerked up.

"We slept for four hours!" I said and pulled him up. We walked outside in the storming weather and we ran towards his truck. When we got there, we were both soaked, and I was very attracted to wet Paul. I kissed his collar bone, up to his neck. Paul lifted me, and kissed every visible part of my body. Goosebumps formed where he kissed, and eventually I just crushed my lips to his. Kissing in the rain, like a dream come true.

There was a flash of lightening, followed by thunder. I jumped and Paul dropped me.

"Ow," I said rubbing my arm. Paul apologized, and helped me up. I got my stuff out of his car, and saw my parents walk across the beach drunkenly. I gave Paul a quick kiss before I ran off to help my parents.

"I ssaw you kisth that boy," Dad said lazily and I nodded.

"Yes Dad, we've been dating since eighth grade," I said. Dad gave me a shocked look and fell over. "Oh no you don't." I said and dragged him towards our car. Mom was giggling and rolling around. When I helped Dad in the car, I went back to help mom into the passenger seat. She handed me the keys, and I started the engine.

It was pouring so hard, the windshield wipers basically flew off the car. Not to mention it was hard to see because of all the water reflecting the lights. I was scared to death. We got to a clear highway when a green light turned yellow and I tried to slow the car, but it wouldn't. Red came soon after, and I hit the emergency brakes. The car slid and I let go of the wheel and screamed. A bright light came from Mom's window and she smiled at me as if she didn't know we were spinning.

"I love you," She said, and soon after, the truck slammed her side, flipping the car down a steep hill.

"Mom!" I yelled, but the sound of crushing metal covered it. I hit my head on something and the world went black. I woke up and saw bright lights. We were upside-down. I felt my forehead and saw the blood that covered my hand.

"Rachel!" someone called. More blinding bright lights.

"Charlie?" I whispered. The world started spinning and then it was black. I looked around but saw nothing. I couldn't breathe; the air was literally being taken away from me. I started running, but I couldn't, as if I were being weighed down. I gasped in pain, and fell. I started shaking, asking for it to go away, or for it to just kill me. I started crying. I pulled my knees to my chest and literally bawled. I was stuck here in complete pain. Why can't I die now? I cried even more. I saw a bright light, but I cowered from it. It was like it was sucking me in.

"Go away!" I tried to yell, but my voice never reached surface. The pain suddenly ceased, and I let out a sigh of relief. Someone called me, but I couldn't recognize what they were saying.

"Doctor, she's waking!" I tried to get away from the blinding light, but I couldn't. It was giving me a massive headache. My body betrayed me, and my heavy eyelids suddenly fluttered open to see Paul kneeling over my bed, hope filled his eyes. I smiled when I saw him, but then I noticed his tear streaked face. I was super confused now.

"Paul, what's wrong?" I asked grabbing his hand. Something felt funny though, I looked at my hand and saw an oxygen monitor on it along with IVs stuck in me. "What the hell is all this for?" I said and tried to take it off, but Paul stopped me.

"Don't," He warned, "They'll make you feel better."

"Paul what are you talking about?" I asked, "I just have a headache, but I always have one when I wake up, especially from a crappy dream."

"You had a crappy dream?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I just said so," I said, "Why are you in my room? And why am I in a different bed?"

"You aren't in your room," Paul said quietly. I cocked my head to the side in confusion, and then looked around. There were white walls, a TV, and a water machine along with a small sink. I recognized the room from when we came in to see Jacob for the first time.

"Why am I in a hospital?" I asked. He hesitated but I didn't give time for him to answer, "Did I hit my head cliff diving or something again?" I laughed at the memory from where I went with Paul cliff diving and I smacked my head on a rock.

"Do you remember anything?" Paul asked.

I thought about what could have happened, but my life had been amazing. I thought some more, and there was a flash of bright light, and I flinched. My vision started clouding, and there were black splotches everywhere.

"No," I whispered, "I don't want to go back to the pain." I blacked out again. The pain never came though. My body was so tired it gave out to rest. Then I phased into a dream of a stormy night. There was a teenage girl driving down the road, terrified because of the storm. She wasn't going very fast, but her breaks failed. She slammed on them, but the car slid sideways instead, causing the truck in the left lane to slam into her. The girl screamed a deathly scream before the car ricocheted off a hill. The car tumbled down the hill until it stopped abruptly, upside-down.

My vision faded, and I jerked up into reality. Sweat poured down my face and I was death gripping someone. I looked up, and saw a scared reflection of myself. I reached out to touch the mirror, but touched a soft cheek of this girl. That girl was my sister.

"Becca," I gasped. And she started crying. I started crying along with her. I killed my mother, and maybe even my father. "I'm so sorry!" I gasped.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked and looked at me with a tear streaked face.

"I killed Mom and Dad." I said and started crying.

"You didn't kill anyone. Dad is ok." She reassured me.

"What about Mom?" I asked and my heart was beating rapidly.

Becca shook her head, "She didn't have a chance." My heart tore to pieces. There was an empty hole in my chest and I cried. I cried more than I ever had in my entire life. Becca cried with me and eventually she left, and I was comforted by Paul. He stroked my hair and whispered useless words in my ear. I held onto him as I cried for hours until I couldn't cry anymore. The look on his face was heartbreaking. I couldn't let him see me like this.

I shook my head, "sorry," I whispered, "I don't know what got into me."

"It's ok to cry, Baby." He said kissing my forehead.

"Where's Dad? Becca said he was ok," I asked and Paul sighed.

"By ok, she meant he wasn't dead, but he is everything from ok," Paul looked at me with sad eyes.

"What happened?"

"The car crushed the bottom half of his spinal cord. Your dad is paralyzed from the waist down. We would be very surprised if he could walk again." That sent me into tears again. Paul held me once more until I had nothing else to cry about.

The doctor walked in and looked at me with a stern face.

"Tell me your name," He said softly.

"Rachel Christina Black, my sister is Rebecca May Black, we are identical twins. Do you need to know more?" I asked sarcastically.

The doctor shook his head and walked out of the room.

I turned and found the mirror on the wall. I looked like crap. There was a huge bandage across my forehead, my arm had a cast that I just now noticed, and there's a huge burn on my neck and collar bone from the seat belt. I looked down and there were cuts and bruises all over my legs and arms.

"How long have I been out?" I asked Paul.

"About a week."

"Damn it, I missed the Fair," I said sarcastically, "What about Dad?"

"He woke up three days after the accident."

I nodded and stared at myself holding Paul in the mirror. "When do I get to leave?" Paul just shrugged. I looked up at Paul, and like he read my mind, he kissed me. My heart fluttered, but my mind screamed at me. How could you be kissing someone when you killed your mom? I broke the kiss and looked away.

"Rachel," Paul said softly. I didn't look at him, "It's ok to kiss me, you know?"

"No it's not!" I argued, "How could I be kissing you when I just killed my mom and paralyzed my dad? I'm an awful person. They should have killed me for murder or something." Paul's face was torn, but he didn't say anything. I started crying again, and I held onto him for support. I soon fell asleep, and woke up to the doctor handing my sister and Paul baskets and flowers and candies.

"Time to go home," the doctor said and I nodded. I started to stand, but he stopped me. "Paul is going to help you up." I nodded and waited for Paul to come back. When he entered the room, I smiled. He started to lift me when the doctor stopped him.

"Let her try and get up herself." I looked down and saw I was in an old t-shirt and sweatpants. I grabbed Paul's hand, and with his other hand, he put it on my waist to help me up. I started to fall at first, but then I caught my balance. Walking is not that easy! I felt groggy, and that my body was this old thing someone found in a junkyard. I wrapped an arm around Paul waist and slowly walked out the door, into civilization.

"Have Sam and Leah come?" I asked.

"Yes and no." Paul answered, "Leah has come about every day, but Sam's been missing school because of this nasty fever. He didn't want to give it to you." I nodded slowly.

"How's Leah?" I asked.

"Upset Sam won't talk to her and that you were here." Well, at least it's the truth.

"What's up with Sam? It looked like they were perfectly fine at the fair…" I said trying to recall what happened, but all that I saw were bright lights, I flinched. Paul tightened his grip around me so I didn't fall.

"All I know is that Sam got a nasty fever after the fair, so he stayed home. He won't answer the phone, or talk to anyone." Paul seemed annoyed. Probably because Sam won't even talk to his best friend.

I looked down as we stepped into the elevator. Paul wrapped both arms around me and kissed my hair. "Don't," I whined, and Paul looked confused, "I probably smell really bad right now."

"I wouldn't notice anyways," Paul smiled and kissed my bandaged forehead. I smiled and leaned into him. I know I'm faking the smile but I had to put on an appearance for Paul's sake. I still can't believe this happened. I need to though; I can't pretend that everything is so dandy when I saw my mother's life end. What hurt the worst is that I'm the cause of all of this happening. A tear rolled down my cheek, and Paul looked at me in confusion. He wiped the tear away as if it were nothing. We walked out of the elevator holding hands and I realized that it was dark outside, and it was raining.

I abruptly stopped, only to be yanked by Paul who wasn't paying attention.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Paul asked worried. I shook my head, continuing to stare outside. What if we wreck again? Terror filled me as Paul looked outside and realized what was wrong. "Oh Rachel, don't worry, you won't be driving."

I shrugged and continued to look outside. Paul realized that I wasn't moving, so he picked me up and cradled me. That upset me because if I don't want to go outside, I shouldn't have to.

"Paul put me down," I whined.

"You're going home today no matter what you say. Billy wants to see you," Paul said and my heart broke.

"I can't go home to him, I can't look at him," I said while trying to get out of Paul's arms.

"Rachel, stop," Paul said sternly, "You can't be stressed. What you need is rest and you can get that at home."

"No!" I tried to wiggle out of his grasp again, but I failed.

"Rachel, Please," Paul said quietly. I quit moving and stared at him intensely.

"I can't go see him," I whispered, and my voice cracked.

"You have to, he's your dad," Paul said softly. When I didn't answer, he continued to walk outside. I hid my face in Paul's neck when the rain hit me. I breathed him in and sighed, causing him to shudder. I then kissed his neck once, experimenting, he shuddered again. I kissed his neck a few more times and he groaned. I smiled and kissed his warm, tan, neck once more and he shuddered big time. I started to giggle at how much I influenced him.

"Rachel, your being so damn sexy and now you're laughing about it?" Paul asked breathing heavily.

"Honestly, I didn't know I was damn sexy," I smirked. Paul shook his head and set me in the passenger side of his truck. I felt like a baby the way he strapped me in so carefully. I looked at the rearview mirror and gasped. Paul jumped in the truck and looked at me frantically.

"What, what happened?" I looked at him, my mouth wide open.

"How can you bare to look at me like this?" My hair was knotted like no other and oily. My eyes had dark circles under the, and my lips were chapped and bleeding slightly. Not to mention the giant bandage on my forehead.

Paul looked at me shocked, "You're worried about your appearance right now?"

I nodded, "Well look at me!" Paul looked at me and smiled

"Considering how you've been in a tragedy, I think you pulled off your appearance a lot better than some other people."

I pursed my lips together, "You lie!"

Paul shook his head at me and started his truck, making me jump.

"Sorry!" He apologized and he grabbed my hand in comfort.

"Put both hands on the wheel!" I said, glaring at him. Paul looked at me, hurt, but put his right hand on the wheel.

The drive home was quiet with only the sound of the radio and Paul singing quietly along with it. I think I passed out somewhere in between there because I don't remember it at all. When we got to my house, Paul scooped me up and carried me inside. I was in the in between stage of awake and asleep. My eyes were closed, I felt like I was asleep, but I heard everything going on around me. We walked inside, and I was filled with warmth and the smell of woods. Paul started talking to someone, someone with a deep, cheerful, voice. My dad.

"Is she alright?" Dad asked. I heard his wheelchair squeak across the floor. "No trouble getting her here?"

Paul shifted his weight, "She's fine, upset though. We had a little trouble for her coming home."

"She didn't want to go?"

"She did, but she didn't want to face you, she feels awful about this," Paul sighed sadly.

"I can understand, but hopefully she'll be ok. She did everything she could," Dad said after a long pause. "Ok, this is the one time I'm allowing you into her room. Don't _ever _go in there again. Things have changed, but not that much, understand me?"

"Yes sir," Paul said and walked to my room. As if Paul hasn't been in there before. He comes over when Dad wasn't home all the time. Paul climbed up my ladder, and carefully set me in my bed. I was definitely awake by now. Paul set the covers carefully on me.

"Ok," He whispered, "I know you are awake."

I smiled, stretched, and looked at Paul, "Yeah, you don't bother to whisper when someone's asleep."

Paul chuckled and then looked at me, "Goodnight Rachel, you need rest for tomorrow."

"Don't leave me," I whispered, thinking about him getting into a wreck.

Paul looked around and then sighed, "I can't stand here for a long time, you're ladder can barely hold me.

I patted beside me on the bed, "Come lay down with me then."

"But your da-" Paul started, but I interrupted him.

"Knows that I'm stubborn and he can deal with it. Please, I'm scared," I gave him the best puppy dog face that I could before Paul sighed and crawled over me. I turned to face him, this bed definitely wasn't big enough for two of us, but we made it work. I snuggled into him and looked up at him. Paul leaned in and stopped right before there was no space left between our lips.

"Goodnight, I will always love you," He said before closing the final space. My heart fluttered, as it does every time I kiss him. I put my hands in his hair and deepened the kiss, but then I pulled apart from him.

"I will always love you too." I said and pressed my lips to his.

I fell asleep in Paul's arms, as I had always imagined, but I knew that as soon as he figured out I was sleeping, he would leave, in fear of my dad, wheelchair or not.

* * *

_**That chapter was kind of sad, I know but as we all know, it had to happen eventually. Please Review!**_


	5. Here Comes College

**_The time period for this chapter goes by fast. They are the same age as they were in the last chapter, so enjoy!

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_**

I woke up feeling like I just got hit by a truck… oh wait, I did. Or it was just a dream. I touched my forehead and felt the crinkled up bandage. My head was overwhelmed as a hole started forming in my chest. I looked around and saw that Paul had left. I got up and slowly climbed down my ladder. Becca was already awake, probably shopping with Leah or something like that. I walked down the dark hallway to my bathroom. There was a note on the mirror.

_The doctor said that you won't have to wear that bandage anymore. Your wrist is sprained because of impact; you only have to wear it for about another week. _

_-Dad-_

I took the note off the mirror, crumpled it up, and threw it away. I looked at myself in the mirror. The purple circles under my eyes were fading, and my face looked brighter. Then, I started peeling off the crumpled, white bandage off of my forehead. A long, ragged cut started forming all the way across. It was stitched, and probably perfectly healthy, but it still was bright red around the the bandage was all the way off, I threw it in the trash. I looked at myself again. That would leave a scar, always showing me what I did. I undressed and threw my clothes into the close hamper. Little cuts and bruises covered my body. I climbed into the shower and let the hot water and steam relax me.

Only it didn't. I started thinking. Mom wouldn't ever see Becca and me graduate. She would never see our wedding or our own kids. She would never see Jacob grow up to be a heartbreaker. She would never see him be heartbroken. She wouldn't see any of that. Dad would have to live without her. Dad wouldn't be able to do to certain things. He wouldn't be able to go to anything that isn't handicap accessible.

I couldn't bear to stand anymore, so I sat down in the shower, and put my head in my hands. Before I knew it, I was crying, again. But I couldn't stop. I just sobbed until I couldn't cry anymore. I stood up and finished my shower like a zombie. I stopped the water, and I heard something outside the bathroom door. I listened a little bit more, and realized the noises were footsteps. My heart was pounding in my chest as I wrapped myself in a towel. I pressed my ear against the door and heard the footsteps come closer to the bathroom door. I held my breath. I hate it how when you hear something when you're home alone, that you immediately assume you're going to be killed.

Still holding my breath, I opened the door slowly until there was just a crack that I could peer through. Nothing. The house lights were off, and there were no signs of someone there. I could have sworn I heard footsteps. I opened the door completely open and saw no one. I walked into my living room and looked around. I walked over to the door and checked the lock. It was unlocked. My heart pounded in my chest and I stood still, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Rachel?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as I spun around to see one of my most favorite faces in the world. I held my hand over my heart as I held my towel up with the other.

"God, Paul, what are you here for?" I asked in between gasps.

"Oh man, I'm sorry; I just wanted to check on you!" He looked so innocent and scared. I rubbed my eyes and smiled.

"It's ok, you just scared me," I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He pressed his lips to mine gently, but it still made my heart race. I tangled my hands in his hair and his hands pressed against my back as the kiss grew stronger. Something in me wanted something, something more. I started unbuttoning Paul's shirt and he pulled us over to the couch. I just now realized that I'm in only a towel, but now, it's just in the way. We managed to get his shirt off, but we were slowed by his undershirt. I wanted it off right then. He left my lips and pulled it off. More like ripped it. Paul sent a trail of kisses on my cheek, to my ear, and started nibbling on it. I started giggling. Then, like instinct, my hand reached for his belt buckle and I started taking it off. He stopped and looked at me.

"Are you absolutely sure?" He asked staring me dead in the eye; he knew that if I showed any sign of worry, he wouldn't go on with it. I nodded.

"Yes, never been more sure in my life," I said honestly. His lips met mine again before he slowly pulled off my towel. Now I'm working on that stupid buckle.

* * *

I woke up on Paul's chest, his arms wrapped around me. I looked up at him and saw that he was dead asleep. I slowly crawled out of his arms and grabbed my towel. I tiptoed across the room and into my room. I looked at myself. My cheeks were red and my hair, well, it was rather messy. I walked in my closet and it didn't take long to decide what I was going to wear. I decided on a pink and brown plaid skirt along with a simple, light pink blouse. I wore brown flats and walked out of my closet. Now, my hair is awful. I brushed all the knots out and straightened it. My straight bangs covered the stitches barely. A tiny corner of the ragged cut showed. I fluffed my long hair and tried to put on makeup. It's rather hard when you have a messed up wrist.

I walked out of my room and saw Paul pulling up his pants. I smiled and walked over to him. He looked up and smiled. He stood up and I realized how tall he was.

"Dang Paul, you got tall," He looked at me and smirked.

"Well, yeah I've been growing a lot," He kissed my forehead softly and then grabbed my hand. "Do you want to go somewhere?" He played with my fingers and started walking out the door. I nodded and we headed for Paul's truck. We drove for about ten minutes and pulled into his driveway.

We walked into a dark house of his and were surprised by a "Happy Birthday." I looked at Paul confused. He started laughing and I was still confused. My sixteenth birthday came like it was nothing. I started laughing with him and we walked around greeting people. My dad rolled up smiling. It broke my heart seeing him.

"Hi Dad," I managed to say, voice cracking.

"Happy Birthday, sweetie," He smiled his warm smile and I almost started crying from guilt. I hugged him and then walked around with Paul. We saw Sam and Leah talking on his couch. Well, more like Leah talking and Sam listening, but he is a tad bit distracted.

I nudged Paul, "Hey, what's up with Sam?" I asked staring at him.

"I don't know. Leah doesn't either. Sam says that he's been noticing things and so he's all like I'm awesome," Paul said annoyed. I walked over to Sam and smiled obliviously.

"Sam, I heard you were extremely sick," I said sounding worried, "I'm glad to see that you're ok now." I smiled.

Sam shifted uncomfortably and looked at me sternly and said, "Well, good things come out of bad ones. Happy Birthday." He stood and I gasped. Sam was huge! He was like seven feet tall! My eyes widened and Sam held out his arms. I hugged him cautiously.

"So Paul," I said turning to him, "Do you want to go on a walk in the woods or something like that?" I was getting claustrophobic from all the people around. He nodded and I grabbed his hand as we started to walk outside.

"Wait!" Sam said as he grabbed my arm with a really hot hand. I turned and looked at him angrily. "Don't go in the woods."

"Why?" I asked and looked up at him, I may only be five one, but I can so take care of myself.

"There are more bears than normal for some reason," He lied, "We're taking care of it."

Paul nodded but I wasn't going to let him be all I know everything on me. "Why do you think you're so badass?" I asked. "It's annoying and you need to learn not to be full of yourself." I walked away and he grabbed me angrily.

"Don't go in the woods," he warned. I pulled my hand away and pulled Paul with me outside.

"Ok, what the hell is his problem?" I asked.

"Told you," Paul said shrugging. I rolled my eyes and then tried to kiss him, but I'm too short. He laughed and bent over to kiss me. I kissed him sweetly and then stared at him.

"How are you getting so tall? Seriously!" I said, "I'm too short!"

"I have no idea, but I don't mind," He said, "I've even been buffing up." He stretched and then flexed to show me.

"Wow Paul, you would be worried about your muscles," I laughed and then there was thunder followed by rain. "So much for going in the woods," I mumbled. Sam stormed out of the house and I looked at him, confused.

"Get inside!" He yelled and ran into the woods. I looked at Paul and he shrugged and we walked inside. The rest of the day was mostly boring. Apparently I got a car, but Becca is using it at the time because we have to share it. I'm not going to drive anyways. The next few days were boring, people in school were freaked out and they all felt bad for me. It was quite annoying. My mom's funeral was depressing, Jacob and Becca cried the most, but I couldn't. I was empty. I looked at Dad and he was holding them back.

After the funeral people would say they were sorry and crap like they always do. We went to the beach and had a bonfire so her spirit wouldn't have trouble going into the afterlife. I leaned into Paul and he kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you." In my ear. Weeks went by before things finally went back to normal, well, almost normal. Sam still thinks he the shit and stuff and that he runs the tribe. April came around the corner and Leah isn't so bubbly anymore because Sam won't tell her anything and she never sees him.

I sat on my couch and changed the channel.

"Aw come on!" Paul said raising his arms, "That was a good show."

"I don't like it," I said and changed it to some Lifetime movie. Paul tickled me and I jumped away from him. He grabbed me and started to lift me up. I squealed and Jacob came to my rescue.

"Let her go!" He yelled with a nerf gun in his hand aimed at Paul. Paul ignored him and so Jacob shot him right in the forehead. Paul dropped me and went after Jacob. Jacob shot him continuously until the nerf gun made a clicking sound. Jacob's eyes widened, "I'm out of ammo, one minute," he said holding up a finger. He ran away from Paul and Paul grabbed his foot, angrily. He knew Jacob was kidding, but he was still really angry. He lifted Jacob by his ankle and held him upside down. Jacob screamed and I ran to grab him. I pulled at Jacob's waist and Paul's grip tightened.

"Ow Paul, that hurts," Jacob whined. I pulled harder.

"Paul, let him go now!" I yelled. Paul let go of Jacob and we went flying backwards.

"Sorry," Jacob said sadly.

"It's fine sweetie," I said, "Why don't you go in your bedroom." I looked at Paul and pointed outside.

When we got outside I looked at Paul angrily, "What the hell is your problem!"

"That little ass of a brother of yours is the problem!" He yelled back.

"He was playing and you know that!"

"Right, he needs to grow up."

"No, you need to! Jacob is only ten!" I yelled.

"You're brother is an annoying twerp and you know it!" Paul yelled back and I slapped him.

"Don't you dare talk about my family like that!" Paul's face started getting red and I backed up. Randomly, Sam came running out of the woods.

"Rachel, leave him alone! Paul, come with me!" He grabbed Paul and started shoving him towards the woods.

"Don't bother coming back!" I yelled at him while he was leaving, "It is fucking over!" Paul looked at me with sad eyes and they ran completely in the woods. My heart broke, but I knew it had to happen. I went inside, slamming the door and Jacob looked scared.

"Are you mad at me?" Jacob asked. I shook my head and ran into my room. As soon as I closed the door I sat down and cried.

"What have I done?" I asked myself and started crying harder. Most likely Paul will call tonight apologizing, but there's this raw feeling in my gut that tells me that he isn't. I curled up in a ball and cried until Becca opened the door on my back.

"Rachel, what happened?" She asked me kneeling down beside me.

"I broke up with Paul," I whispered. Her eyes widened.

"I, I don't know what to say," She said and stood up. "You guys dated for a long time, and it sucks, but you're going to have to get over it. Not now, obviously, but you can't do this all the time, understand?" I nodded and stood up.

"He'll call tonight," I said, lying to Becca and myself. Only he didn't. He didn't go to school or call me. I started getting worried after a month went by. He dropped out of school and he won't answer my phone calls now. I didn't cry anymore, but it still hurt that after that day, he won't even talk to me.

After sitting on my no longer bunk bed, I decided to call Paul one day in July. I hadn't called since May, so maybe he'll answer now. The phone rang and I crossed my fingers.

"Hello?" My heart pounded in my chest hoping it was Paul.

"Hey," I said quietly, "Is Paul there?"

The person on the other end of the phone started talking to someone and then sighed, "Rachel, he doesn't want to talk to you and he won't, so don't call back." My heart shattered and a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Is this Sam?" I asked. Sam said he hadn't seen Paul, but I know it was a lie. There was a silence.

"Rachel, what do you want?" He asked annoyed. I was getting angry.

"Tell Paul right now that this is his last chance, ever. If he doesn't answer then he has no chance of seeing me or hearing my voice again," I tried to say calmly.

"Rachel," Sam said, "Don't do that."

"No, I am. Tell that to Paul, right now!" I said angrily. Sam sighed and I heard him tell Paul. Then, there was a silence. I held my breath as I heard someone pick up the phone.

"He said he was sorry, but no," Sam said finally. My heart literally stopped and I held on to a chair.

"Ok then, I promise him I will never see or talk to him again and I won't call. I say that and I call anyways sometimes, but this time, I'm not. He has no chance ever again," I said. As soon as I finished those words I started crying.

"Rachel, are you ok?" Sam asked frantically. I hung up the phone and then threw it against the wall. And that was it. I didn't talk to Paul again. I stopped going to bonfires on the beach where I know I'd see him and I didn't go to any parties where he was also invited. I never went to Sam's house or Leah's. I cut myself off from that group because I knew I wouldn't be able to stand it.

The day before school started again for my junior year, there was a knock on the front door. I was in the kitchen cutting vegetables for dinner. "Becca!" I yelled, "Can you get that for me?" She walked across the room in her sundress and fixed her hair before she answered the door.

"Oh, hi Paul," Becca said slowly. I put the knife down, took off my gloves, and started walking towards my room.

"Can I talk to Rachel?" He asked. Becca looked at me and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry," She started, "She's not home."

I walked past the door while getting to my room and I'm pretty sure Paul saw me because he said, "I just saw her, please."

Becca shifted her weight uncomfortably, "You had your chance and you ruined it. I'm sorry, but you can't talk to her."

Paul cleared his throat and said, "Please."

Becca opened the door for him and I dove into my room and shut the door. I leaned up against it and heard Paul walk over to my room. He knocked on my door and I locked it.

He sighed after a few seconds of silence and said, "Rachel, don't do this." I didn't answer. "Rachel, please, I need to talk to you." I walked across the room and grabbed a notepad. I quickly wrote on it and started to slide it under my door.

_Paul, I'm sorry, but you ruined your chance. Say what you want to say now but it won't make a difference. _

"Rachel, please, I was confused at the time. I just need to hear your voice again," He said sadly.

I grabbed the notepad and wrote on it again and slid it back under the door.

_So confused it took you three and a half months to get over, right…_

"Rachel, please, I just need to see something," He said.

I wrote on the notepad again.

_No._

"Rachel, at least let me hear your voice," he pleaded.

I waited a minute before whispering, "Goodbye Paul." I heard his footsteps leave until the door closed. I sighed and my heart broke again. That year went by slowly without him, but I took Becca's advice and didn't let it get to me. The only reason I feel this hurt is because we were together for so long, right?

I was fine without Paul. I actually lived. I went to parties with Becca getting extremely drunk and making out with some random guy. My grades stayed at a 4.0 the entire year, so I had nothing to worry about. Senior year came around the corner like nothing. I was ready for Julliard; I could actually see them accepting me, saying that I did wonderful. I couldn't wait to go to the big city of New York. I especially couldn't wait to get out of LaPush. Away from Paul's presence. Julliard was coming to LaPush to hear me. I played my absolute best piece I have ever played and I played it perfectly I had a huge grin on my face and they asked me why I wanted to go there and I told them answers honestly. I love piano and I could spend my life doing that.

A month before senior year ended, I got a package in the mail. From Julliard. I carefully opened it and read as they accepted me. But instead of excitement and me jumping around, screaming, I was disappointed. Something in me wanted me to be declined. I couldn't leave Paul my body wanted to stay here and see him. So I stood there, in the kitchen, staring at the paper until Dad rolled up in his wheelchair.

"Did you get accepted?" He asked. I showed him the paper and he smiled his warm smile. "Congratulations! I am so proud of you, your mother would be too," He said still grinning. It faded when he realized that I wasn't that excited. "What's wrong?"

I thought of my words for a minute before finally saying, "I think I'm only going to go there for a year or two."

He nodded, "You don't want to leave here, do you?"

"No," I said sadly, "All my life I've been waiting for this moment, and now that it's here, I realized that I wasn't happy about it. What am I going to do after Julliard? I think I'm going to go to Washington after that to do something, I don't know yet though."

"Rachel, are you sure about this?" Dad asked.

"Positive, I can't leave LaPush, and as much as I don't like it, I think it has something to do with Paul," I admitted for the first time.

"You'll learn soon," Dad said and then rolled away. I sighed and looked at the acceptance letter on more time. I have a lot of figuring out to do.

* * *

"That is why I am proud to present this year's senior class of LaPush High School." I smiled as I finished my valedictorian speech. People clapped and I raised my arms so everyone would stand. The crowd cheered and my cheeks hurt because I couldn't stop smiling. This was it. I was leaving tomorrow for New York for summer classes. I would miss everyone terribly, especially Paul. I didn't get over him like a normal person would. My smile faded as I tried to find Paul in the mass of people. I didn't see him. I sighed and everyone started to leave. I quickly joined the rest of the class by Becca. We found Dad and Jacob who was now taller than me.

"Hey Jake! Now you have an entire house to yourself, no girls ever!" I smiled and hugged him.

"Yeah, but I am going to miss you a lot," He said sadly.

"Don't worry, I'll come visit when I can," I smiled even bigger and added, "If you need any girl advice, just call me, I'll hook you up." Jake smirked and went to go hug Becca. I hugged Dad and then went to go find Becca with Jake. When I found her she pounced on me.

"Rachel! Can you believe it?" she asked, "We graduated!" I laughed and we started heading towards the beach where Leah was having a bonfire for a graduation party. Paul is not going because graduates only, thank god. We quickly got to our car and started driving to the party. It was fun, but I couldn't stay long because I had to pack. I gave everyone hugs and we all took pictures and we also cliff dove.

I was just about to leave when I ran into Sam. "Oh, hi." I said.

"So you're moving to New York?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, Julliard," I said nodding, "Finally made it."

"Does Paul know?" Sam asked looking at me with concern.

I shook my head, "I haven't talked to him since last summer. I can't face him right now."

"He's not going to be happy about it you know."

"I know, but I've always dreamed about going there. Will you tell him that I'm going there and will you also tell him that he can come visit when he likes?" I asked. Sam and I may have not gotten along that well, but he's Paul's best friend.

"Yeah I will," He said and then hugged me. I hugged him back and then looked at him with sad eyes.

"It was a mistake to send him away and I regret that big time. Tell him I'm also sorry and I always will be." Sam nodded and then walked away. I left the party and finished packing. A new life where people didn't know me, and I didn't know them. How exciting.

* * *

**_So there we go, they are now in college. I don't know how many chapters until Rachel and Paul will be back together, but it's definitely not going to be in_ _the next one, sorry :(... I might look into Paul's POV so we don't leave him completely. REVIEW!_**


	6. Return

_**Ok so the beginning of this chapter is in Paul's point of view after graduation. After that it's going to switch povs back and forth.

* * *

**_

"Sam, did you talk to Rachel?" I asked Sam after he got back from the graduation party. I was sitting in the middle of the woods doing absolutely nothing.

"She's going to New York," He sighed and looked at me with sad eyes.

I nodded trying to hide back what I really felt. "Did she mention me?"

"Yeah, phase so I can just show you," Sam said and when I looked up, he was already in his wolf form. I phased to and laid back down to watch what happened in Sam's mind.

"_So you're moving to New York" He asked looking down at the very petite Rachel. She sighed sadly and nodded._

"_Yeah, Juilliard," She said sadly, "Finally made it." _Why is she sad about that? She's been talking about that since kindergarten.

"_Does Paul know?" Sam asked. Her face filled with hurt and looked up at him with her big, royal blue eyes. _

_She shook her head, "I haven't talked to him since last summer. I can face him right now." _I wish she would, I want to see her in person through my eyes, and not a fuzzy memory.

"_He's not going to be happy about it you know," Sam said disapproving of her not talking to me._

"_I know, but I've always dreamed about going there. Will you tell him that I'm going there and will you also tell him that he can come visit when he likes?" Hope filled her eyes, but I knew that wasn't possible. I had to protect the tribe. _

"_Yeah, I will," Sam said and hugged her. He breathed in her smell and I sighed, glad he did that. _

"_It was a mistake to send him away and I regret that big time. Tell him I'm also sorry and I always will be." She said with tear filled eyes. Sam nodded and started walking towards where we are now. _She thought it was a mistake, good. I missed her more than anything, and if we were meant to be, she would come back to me, if not, than it was an old love that I need to get over.

**Rachel's POV.**

I walked into my dorm, glad classes were over for the day. I fell on my bed, exhausted. My phone rang.

"Great," I muttered to myself before answering the phone in a cheery voice, "Hello?"

"Rachel?" A crying girl asked.

"Yeah," I said worried.

"It's Leah," Leah started crying harder.

"Leah!" I said shocked, "What's wrong?"

"We were at a family reunion, and I introduced Sam to my cousin Emily, you've met her right? Well, he just broke up with me right after that, and now, he's dating her!" She started sobbing even more. "She even knows everything about him, he even told her what happened to him. He's happier around her."

"There honestly has to be a huge explanation for this," I said confused, "You'll find someone better than him, I promise."

"Did you find someone better than Paul?" Leah asked hopefully. I looked at a picture of my boyfriend Noah.

"At this moment, no. And I'm sorry, but after Paul and I broke up, it sucked. You will find someone. I sort of have someone, but I don't know if they're better than Paul yet." I admitted. Leah quit crying.

"I hope I find someone. I really do." Leah said quietly.

"Leah, I am sorry, but I have to go to work, so I'll call you later, ok?" I asked and she hiccupped.

"Yeah, bye," Leah said and hung up the phone. I put my phone away and started changing into my Starbuck's uniform. I quickly ran out of my dorm and off campus.

I ran to work as if it were nothing. I don't take the subway because they creep me out. Taxi's take too long. I quickly got to work and started taking orders.

"Rachel you don't have to work today, I thought I told you that," my manager, Dylan told me.

"I want to," I admitted, "It takes my mind off things." Dylan looked at me and then pulled me into the back room.

"What happened?" He asked with a serious face.

I sighed and looked down, "Drama from where I used to live has come back to me somehow. I thought I got away from it." Dylan was one of my best friends, so he knows the entire story about Paul.

"Go back to your dorm," Dylan said, "Go sleep or study and don't answer your phone for anyone." I nodded and left the coffee shop.

I landed back onto my bed like I did only an hour before and almost started crying. My life was going to be perfect and I was going to forget LaPush and Paul. I almost made it too if Leah hadn't had called and brought all the memories back. I almost cried, but then my roommate, Kara walked in.

"Hey," She smiled and then went to her laptop to do whatever she does. I stared at her for a moment and was immediately jealous. She didn't have any problems in her life. She was basically perfect. She was beautiful and had skin that looked like milk chocolate. Her lips were full and gorgeous and she had dark brown wavy hair. She was a singer and a great one too. Her daddy was some big time Lawyer so they had a lot of money. She grew up in the rich side of New York and she was an only child. Talk about spoiled. But, even though she was like that, she was one of the nicest people I have ever met.

School was almost perfect. The only bad thing was that you had to practice all the time. You basically had no social life. I didn't even go home for Christmas because I was practicing. I have been home since I left though, but I could only stay for weekends. But I had to admit, I didn't want to go home. If I went home, I would be reminded by everything that happened. Yes, I would miss my dad and all of my friends, but I could give that up to stay away. I threw on my flats and decided to go see Noah. He was a great guy. Not to mention he could play the saxophone like he could walk.

Noah has blue eyes. Not just blue eyes, they were the color of blueberries, that's how blue they were. He had short, messy, light brown hair and he's about five foot ten inches. He's buff, but not as buff as the Quileute boys. I love him and I really want him to see my family, but I don't want him to see Paul.

"Bye," I said to Kara as I grabbed my jacket and walked out of the dorm. It was raining when I walked outside. I breathed in the cold air and almost started spinning in circles. Living in New York for three years has made me realize that I love and miss the rain. I walked to a loft that was just down the street from the campus. Noah's a Senior and I'm only a Junior. Who knows what will happen after he graduates. I walked down the streets of New York and finally reached his loft. My cell phone buzzed in my pocked right when I was about to knock on the door.

I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my little brother Jacob. Except, he wasn't so little anymore. Last time I saw Jacob, he was super tall and getting buff. He's in love with Bella Swan and always has been, but apparently she's taken by a Cullen. I answered my phone quickly.

"Hey Jake!" I said cheerfully. I always loved talking to Jacob for some reason, he just brightened my mood.

"Hey," he said calmly, "So, what's up?"

"Um," I shifted weights and looked at Noah's loft, "Just thinking about going to Noah's."

"Oh, that's cool," Jacob really wants to meet Noah and I promised him that he would someday. "So the Cullen's left town."

"Really?" I said shocked and leaned against the door, "Did Bella go with them?"

"No _he_ dumped her and left her in the woods, Sam found her saying random words," He said sadly.

"Sam?" I asked. When Jacob always mentions Sam, his voice darkens.

"He acts like he owns the tribe. Paul, Jared, and now Embry follow him around like little puppies," Jacob said darkly, "And now, he looks at me like I'm next."

"That's not good." I said and started digging in my purse for some candy.

"But, anyways, Bella's hanging out with me," He said excited, "She just came over and wanted to hang out. I don't know what I did either!"

"Jake, that's great! I'm glad you finally got what you wanted." I finally found Twizlers and started chewing on them.

"She called me beautiful, but," Jake said sadly, "She doesn't want to be with me. I screwed up at the movies with her and threatened to send her friend to the hospital."

"Why?" I coughed.

"I don't know, he said something, and it made me angry," Jake admitted, "But, change of subject. When are you going to come home?"

"I don't know Jake, I don't know if I can come home," I said sadly.

"Why?" He said angrily.

"Because I go to school here in New York."

"You don't even come home for summers, did you know that Becca got married?" My heart skipped a beat.

"She did?" I asked sadly, she didn't even tell me.

"Yeah to some surfer dude in Hawaii, you won't ever call her so she just stopped trying to communicate with you."

"I'm sorry."

"Just come home and you won't have to miss everything!" Jacob pleaded.

"No, I can't deal with Paul."

"Screw Paul!" Jacob yelled. "Nobody's seen him for a long time!"

"Jake, stop," I warned, "I'm not coming back, I'm happy here." I lied, but I'm not exactly happy anywhere.

The phone crushed on the other end and I hung up. I knocked on the door and was relieved Noah was home.

I hugged him as soon as he opened the door.

"Becca's married," I said almost crying.

"It's ok Rachel, just have her come over for dinner or something." He said kissing my forehead.

"I can't, she lives in Hawaii, I just have to get over it," I said looking at him. He smiled and then grabbed my hand and pulled me over towards his couch.

"Please sit down." He smiled and then started saying the most incredible things. "Rachel, I'm in love with you. I love everything about you. The way you always know what to do and how to make everything better." Noah then got down on one knee. "Rachel, I will always love you, and I hope you will always love me too. Will you marry me?" I gasped and then realized something. I'm still in love with Paul. I don't want to marry Noah and be with him because it makes me sad at the thought.

"I'm moving back to Washington," I blurted.

* * *

**Paul's POV**

"Sam he's on the phone with _her_," I realized. He wants her to come home so badly. Jacob started getting angry.

I stood at the edge of the woods with Sam, Jared, and Quil. We watched as Jacob talked on the phone with his sister, Rachel Black. My heart pounded thinking of her. Although I couldn't remember her very much anymore. We were high school sweethearts you could say.

"He's about to phase," Sam said and started running towards their house. Jacob crushed his house phone and I ran after Sam.

We burst into Jacob's house and he was in a rage. Sam and Jared grabbed Jacob's arms and pulled him outside.

"What's happening?" Jacob yelled in pain. We threw him in the woods when he phased. I phased right after he did along with Sam and Paul.

"_What the hell is happening?" Jacob said looking at his paws._

"_Here's the deal," I said, "You are a werewolf along with Sam, Jared, Quil, and me."_

"_Seriously?" Jacob asked._

"_Yeah, and we can hear each other's thoughts, that's how I'm talking to you. You kill vampires, leeches, blood suckers, cold ones, any name you want to give them. The stories are true and you can't tell anyone except for Billy." I said quickly._

"_Not Bella?" He asked._

"_Not Bella, you have to stay away from her so she doesn't get hurt," I said. He looked angry, but he nodded anyways._

"_Not even Rachel and Rebecca?" Jacob asked._

_I shook my head, "Not even them."_

"_You're the reason Rachel left. Because of this, and now I have to live with it!" Jacob yelled."Now she's never going to come home!"_

"_It wasn't my fault she broke up with me!" I bit him and we went into a big fight over Rachel. Jacob finally calmed down once Quil broke up the fight. Apparently we've been at it for a few days. Billy started calling Jake from the woods and Sam looked at me and nodded. We phased back to human form and walked out of the woods, only Jacob was naked._

"Jacob why are you…" Billy started and then looked at all of us, "He finally is one of you."

I nodded and then looked at Sam who then said, "Jacob needs to stay away from people until he gets used to everything." Jacob looked upset, but I knew what he was most upset about. When we were fighting, I got a good look into his thoughts and all he was thinking about was Bella.

It was the end of May, beginning of June and we were in the backyard of the Black's house when Billy wheeled himself quickly outside. Billy looked at Jacob and said sternly, "You need to hear this, now." He wheeled himself inside and we followed. Billy started playing the answering machine. They all started out with Bella apologizing to him and then right when I thought they were basically useless, I heard Rachel's crying voice.

"Daddy, it's Rachel, he raped me Daddy," She started crying some more, "Then he beat me Daddy. Please, can I come home? I'm so sorry." She sobbed some more and then whispered, "Call me back." My heart shattered and then I got angry, angrier than I have ever been before. I ran out of the tiny Black house and ran towards the woods. Sam ran after me but I phased before he could do anything.

"_Paul!" He yelled, "You can't do this, you have to stay here!"_

"_I'm going to kill him!" I knew who he was. Jacob thought of him when I thought of Rachel. Apparently, Rachel sent a picture of them on Christmas to Billy. I couldn't kill him though, I had to stay here. I stopped and looked at Sam._

"_You're going to be on patrol for a few months," He said and then ran off. I looked around and then howled.

* * *

_

_**Rachel's POV**_

_Rachel, _

_Please come home, I need you, Dad needs you. Edward came back and now they're getting married. I know that you're still recovering, but I need you soon. When are you coming home?_

_-Jacob-_

I closed the letter that I've read a thousand times and walked onto my flight at the airport. I still had bruises, which sucked. People looked at me like I got hit by a train. Pity crossed their faces and it made me angry. I sat in the widow seat of the airport next to some lady that looked at me and held the cross around her necklace. She started whispering something, probably praying. The plane finally landed and she looked at me, put a hand on my shoulder, and said "I pray for you, young one."

I stood up and adjusted my skirt. I looked up and started to reach for my Coach duffle bag. Working so much during the summer has made me earn tons of money. Some man came up and grabbed it for me.

"Let me get that for you, you aren't in good condition for lifting things," He said. I looked at him and smiled. He was beautiful and had a southern accent. He had a mess of blonde hair and caramel colored eyes. His skin was pale white though which was a setback for me.

"Thank you," I smiled and started heading off the plane.

"So what are you doing in Seattle?" He asked as we got our luggage.

"I'm moving back with my family from New York," I said, "But I don't live in Seattle."

"Where are you heading?" He asked grabbing all three of my suit cases with one hand.

"I can take one of those for you," I said trying to be polite.

"No, no," He assured me. A wave of understanding came over me and I nodded.

"I'm heading near Forks, but not quite in Forks," I knew he wouldn't know what LaPush was, so I didn't go into detail.

"Oh, so you live in LaPush," He said smiling.

"You know where that is?" I asked surprised.

"Believe it or not, I live in Forks, so yes, I know where LaPush is," We started heading outside and I asked.

"What's your name?"

"Jasper Hale, what's yours?" We stopped at the entrance and I held out my hand to shake.

"Rachel Black, it's a pleasure to meet you." Jasper shook my hand.

"Rachel Black," He said, "You don't happen to be related to Jacob Black do you?"

"He's my brother, why do you know him?"

"Yes I do, we are acquaintances. But definitely not friends," He did a half smile, "Do you want a ride to your house, or at least to a checkpoint where your brother can pick you up?"

"Why not," I said and walked over with him to his shiny canary yellow Porsche. "Whoa, this is yours?"

"My wife's, actually" He said and put my bags into the trunk.

"Hello," a cheerful, pixie looking girl stepped out of the driver's seat and smiled at me, "I'm Alice, Jasper's wife. You must be Rachel Black." I nodded. She opened the passenger door for me. I carefully got in, but I smacked my bruised shoulder and winced. Suddenly the pain went away in a big wave. I sighed.

When Alice got in the car she smiled at me as we drove towards the highway. "So how did you know who I was?"

"I can tell, you look like Jacob Black," She smiled and pressed on the gas pedal even more.

"I don't look anything like Jacob," I said, "And how is Jasper getting home?"

"Fine, he drove the Mercedes," She admitted, "We were asked to pick you to make sure you were safe."

"Safe?" I laughed, "Right like something's going to kill me."

"Maybe," she said, "Or the Quileutes are just protective of you."

"So Jacob sent you?" I asked, "No one knows that I'm coming home except my dad and Jacob, I swore them to secrecy."

"Yeah it was probably them," Alice lied. Something was up and I wasn't supposed to find out.

I didn't talk the rest of the car ride whether it's the shyness in me, or the part that Alice just lied to me. I hate liars.

Alice dropped me off at my house and quickly drove away. I held my suitcase carefully as I walked to my front door. The lights were off, but I rang the doorbell anyways. No Answer. I opened my door and groaned. They didn't have locks on their door. Seriously? Do they know how many people could break into our house? I shook my head and walked in. Everything was the exact same as it used to be. Couches were in the same spot, new TV, but it was still in the same place. I walked to my room. It was the same except one bed was gone, mine. I could understand though, they thought I was never going to come home. I wasn't going to either.

I sat laid on the bed in my old bedroom and fell asleep not long before I woke up with a huge lump of heat on me.

"What the hell?" I sat up and then saw a giant version of little Jacob who wasn't very little anymore. I stood up and then hugged him, "Jacob! You have no idea how much I've missed you!" He picked me up in a huge hug and squeezed tightly on his muscular body. I winced, but hoped he wouldn't notice it.

"Same here," he muffled in my hair. He set me down carefully and then looked at me carefully. "You look like crap."

I laughed and then shrugged casually, "Things happen that you have no control over." He looked at me again, anger flashed through his eyes. I changed subject quickly, "You are huge!" I smiled and he laughed.

"Yeah well that's what happens these days," he muttered, "You should see most of the guys here, Sam, Jared, Seth Clearwater, even Leah's gotten all tall and buff."

"Leah always has been," I laughed. I knew Jake didn't mention Paul on purpose, he knows that I did to. "So, I was thinking about going to the beach, do you want to come?" I smiled grabbing a jacket.

He sighed, "No, I have to run some errands and stuff like that." He was lying. I knew when Jake lied and now was one of those times. I hate it when people lie to me.

"Fine," I said casually and walked out.

"Rachel!" Jake said. I turned around and looked at him. "Be careful, things have changed."

"And yet you still won't get a lock for the door," I said and walked out. It was cool outside today and I breathed in the familiar woodsy scent of LaPush. I started walking towards the beach and I passed people that I haven't seen in a long time. I would walk passed some teenagers and they would whisper in their friends ear pointing. I looked down at the sidewalk when I ran into what felt like a tree.

"Ow," I said wincing and then wincing because I winced.

"Oh man!" The kid said, "I am so sorry." I looked up at some kid that I didn't know.

"It's fine, I wasn't seeing where I was going," I said and tried to walk away, but he stopped me.

"Wait!" he said, "You're Jacob's sister Rachel, aren't you?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I'm Seth Clearwater, do you remember me?" He asked smiling.

"Oh wow," I said shocked, "Jake was not kidding was he?"

"About me being huge? No," He laughed. He looked at my bruises and his face saddened a little bit. "I have to go now," he said and ran into the woods.

"Well bye." I walked on the beach and breathed in the salty air. I sat on a large, flat boulder and tried to relax. I looked over at the dark green mass of trees. I heard a howl that made me have goose bumps. I have always loved wolves, but this howl sounded sad, or hurt. I looked at the edge of the tree line again and decided to get up and see if the wolf was near. I reached over to the tree line slowly and carefully. I pulled down a branch and stepped into the woods.

"Rachel?"

* * *

_**Hmm, who could it be? haha**_


	7. You Wipe My Tears Away

_**AN: I am super sorry I haven't updated. School has held me back and I was going to make up for it by making five chapters, but my computer crashed and deleted everything. I did all I could to type this one chapter today and I would just like to thank everyone who has stayed with me on my non convenient updates. I would like to make a special shout out to KMN688. That person has been with me since the beginning on my updates, and I love to know that they are still with me and they love my story. It makes my day better. But I would also like to apologize to you too. So please forgive me for everything and please still read my story. It won't be over for a long time.**_

_**I do not own Rachel or Paul or any of the characters. I do own Kara, Noah, and Dylan. People who play small parts in the story.**_

_**Thank You So Much!**_

_**P.S. I don't put the details of lemons on here because I wouldn't put anything on here that would end up being mentioned sometime in my life and my grandma ends up reading it. I'm not like that. Sorry.

* * *

**_

_I reached over to the tree line slowly and carefully. I pulled down a branch and stepped into the woods._

"_Rachel?"

* * *

_

My heart was beating in my chest and I looked to see who it was. I squinted my eyes as I peered into the woods, but the trees were too thick to see anything.

"Who's there?" I asked trembling. I stumbled deeper into the woods, but still didn't see anything. I shifted weights. There was no answer. Getting frustrated, I said, "Well, if you aren't going to tell me anything, I'm going." I turned to leave.

"Wait!" The voice said sadly. I stopped in my tracks and turned back. "Please don't."

"Why?" I asked annoyed, "You aren't telling me who you are, and I'm getting annoyed and cold."

"Because," The voice said, a little closer this time, "I just need to, never mind. You can go."

"What were you going to say?" I asked, still looking to see if I can spot him.

"Nothing," He said, "Nothing important."

"Well now I want to know," I laughed.

"Fine," he sighed, "I just wanted to hear your voice again. There was a thump and suddenly Paul was in front of me. I looked at my feet and then his feet I looked up his legs and realized he was only wearing shorts. I looked at his defined abs and then looked down again, embarrassed that I stared at them for so long.

"Rachel," he said softly. Tears welled in my eyes.

"I-I," I stuttered, "I have to go." I ran out of the woods into the deserted beach. Paul ran after me and grabbed my bruised wrist. I flinched and he let go.

"Sorry!" He said sadly, "I just needed to see you. To see your face."

"My face looks like shit," I said looking at the ocean. The water was a grey color and the waves were huge.

"It's always beautiful," Paul said. My heart skipped a beat.

"You left me alone," I said quietly.

"You know I regret that."

I nodded sadly and turned towards him, still looking down. Paul cupped my face and made me look at him. My long hair blew in my face. He wiped my hair from my face and I looked at him straight in the eyes. My heart stopped and I never felt more attached to Paul before than now.

"Whoa." I whispered. His breath caught and then smiled shyly.

"I love you, Rachel." He said and leaned in to kiss me. He was inches from my face when I pulled away angrily. Shock crossed his face.

"How can you even think that saying I love you makes all the problems go away?" I yelled. "You got pissed for nothing and left me!"

"You told me to leave," he whispered sadly.

"You know I was just pissed!" My head started hurting, the doctor said to not yell or raise my heart rate, but I ignored his orders. "I called, and called, and you didn't do anything! You just left me broken and hurt! You're the reason I left Paul! I hated being here because you were here! I even hated you for that!" Paul was crushed and a tear rolled down his face. My heart ached and I wanted to take back everything I said, but I couldn't.

"I have to tell you," He said quietly, "But you'll leave me again."

"Unfortunately, I can't leave, so you might as well tell me." I smiled.

"Ok then," Paul said and took off his pants.

I started cracking up, "What the hell are you doing!" I asked in between laughing fits.

"Back up," He said sternly. I nodded and backed up really far and continued laughing. Paul can be so stupid. There was a ripping sound and Paul exploded into a giant grey wolf right before my eyes. I looked at the wolf stunned before my blood pressure got too high, and I passed out.

* * *

I woke up with a massive headache in a house I didn't recognize. I sat up and saw that I was on a black leather sofa. There was a large TV along with a black leather recliner. I looked around more and saw a balcony overlooking the room I was in and then I saw a kitchen where Paul was sitting at the island. He looked at me eagerly and stood up and walked over to me.

"Here," He said and handed me hot chocolate with chocolate shredded on the whip cream and a candy cane on hanging on the side, soaking in the hot chocolate. I giggled.

"I haven't had your hot chocolate since my mom died," I smiled and sipped it. The rich mixture of chocolate and mint filled my senses.

"It was always your favorite," He smiled and looked at me funny before wiping whip cream off of my face. I blushed and looked down.

"So," Paul said awkwardly, "What do you remember."

"Everything," I whispered. It was true. Paul turned into a wolf. I'm not stupid or anything. After he turned, I knew the legends were real.

"That's my excuse." Paul said after a ridiculously long pause.

"That's why?" I asked a little hurt, "Sam was still around us when he turned."

"How did you know Sa-"

"I'm not stupid," I laughed, "You did the exact thing he did except yours was worse and Sam was still around us."

"I wasn't dumb and risked your life over it." Paul said with a hint of anger.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Anger makes you change."

"Oh well it doesn't help that you get angry easily," I laughed jokingly. Paul stared at me with a very serious face.

"I could have killed you if we got in a fight," he said sadly.

"Oh, but I was yelling at you earlier and you didn't change."

"I meant that's what I thought before I knew you were my imprint," Paul whispered. He said it so quietly I didn't know if he even said it.

"I'm your what?" Paul looked at me with sad eyes and didn't say anything for what felt like forever.

"Imprint," Paul said, "You're my soul mate." My heart fluttered in my chest more than it ever has before.

"Well," I said looking down, "How do you know."

"You felt it too, I saw it in your eyes," Paul said, "You've never looked at me that way before."

"So," I said nervously, "That doesn't mean anything. That could be because I haven't seen you in five years."

"Why can't you believe me?" He asked sadly.

"If you prove it, I will believe you," I said stubbornly.

"We all thought Sam and Leah were going to end up together, right?" He asked. I nodded. Sam was a dumbass and dumped Leah.

"He imprinted on Emily, Leah's cousin," Paul said looking me dead set in the eyes, "It broke Leah's heart, but she couldn't ignore it."

"Asshole," I rolled my eyes. Paul looked hurt and turned his head.

"He tried to ignore it, but he couldn't." Paul said still not making eye contact with me.

"Name another," I said.

"Imprinting isn't common Rachel, but Quil and Emily's niece, Claire. She's two."

"She's two?" I raised my eyebrow, "Quil's a pedophile."

"You don't understand Rachel!" Paul said raising his voice and standing up.

"When you imprint, you are what the imprint needs at the current time. All Claire needs is a best friend. Emily wanted love, and that's what she got."

"What do I need?" I asked. He looked at me with his big brown eyes.

"Not love," He said sadly, "You need a friend."

"Oh," I said sadly. I figured he would say that. Paul changed the subject quickly by examining my bruises.

"I should kill him," Paul said angrily. I looked away sadly. That was the worst day of my life.

"It was all because I spent the last semester of school here in Washington." I said slowly, "He proposed to me and I said I was moving back here to get out of it. We still dated, kind of. He asked if I loved him and I didn't answer immediately. Then he got mad and I said I'm sorry, but it didn't work."

Paul's eyes darkened, but he didn't say anything.

"Then he said he would make me love him," My hands started trembling, "He started hitting me and saying this is what a boyfriend that didn't love me would do, and then he raped me over and over again. He said if I don't love him, he'll do that to me every day until I do."

"That's when you called," Paul quietly said and wiped a tear from my face with his thumb. I flinched thinking of the memory of Noah. Paul pulled his hand away quickly.

"You heard that?" I asked eyes wide.

"I was at the house when you left the message. And so was everyone in the pack," Paul said simply.

"Why were you at my house….." My eyes widened even more, "No."

"Sorry," Paul said looking down.

"My baby brother is not a wolf," I said sternly and got up and found the quickest door outside. Too bad it was a balcony and it had no stairs. Paul grabbed me and I turned and sobbed into his chest.

"I just can't take it right now," I cried, "My life was so good and then it was so bad."

"I know what you mean," Paul whispered. I cried and then looked up at him.

"Kiss me." I said eagerly.

"What?"

"I said kiss me. Please."

"I'm sorry," Paul whispered, "I can't." My heart filled with sadness as I started to cry even more.

"You. Said. You. Loved. Me." I said in between sobs. He wiped both tears away carefully with both thumbs and stared at me with his intense brown eyes. He leaned in slowly and kissed my lips softly before pulling away quickly. My heart fluttered, but my soul was unsatisfied.

"Really kiss me Paul," I pleaded, "Kiss me like you were going to the moment you saw me."

Paul looked and me again and kissed me roughly. My heart just about leaped out of my chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Every inch of our bodies was touching and his tongue slid along my bottom lip. I gladly let his tongue plunge into my mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he put both of his hands on my ass. He pulled me inside and quickly took me upstairs to his bedroom. He carefully placed me on his bed and took off my shirt. His hands were all over my stomach and my body ached for him. Clothes just came off instantly and I had never loved Paul so much before. I always knew imprinting existed, I just believe it happened to me now.

* * *

I woke up with my head on Paul's chest, wrapped around him. I was extremely hot, but it was a good hot, like my own personal heater. It's like Paul's my body heat and I need him to survive. He was running his fingers through my hair slowly and I sighed. I kissed Paul's chest and goose bumps were left where I kissed him.

"What day did you turn?" I asked him.

"The day you broke up with me," Paul replied simply.

"Oh." I reached over Paul to check my phone, I had six voice messages.

"_Hey, it's Jake, I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight."_

"_Hey, it's Jake again, I was just wondering where you were, Dad and I really wanted to hang out with you tonight."_

"_Hey it's me, where are you, I'm starting to get worried about you Rachel."_

"_Rachel, please answer your phone I'm getting really worried."_

"_Rachel, where are you?"_

"_Seriously, come home wherever you are, Dad won't be able to stand it if something happened to you again. So call me back, bye."_

"Shit." I said and looked at Paul, "I have to go, Jacob's getting really worried."

Paul nodded and I took a shower and got dressed into my clothes, well, what was remaining. "I'll take you to the store so you can buy some new clothes." I nodded and we drove to the nearest store we could find. But first, I called Jacob.

"Rachel?"

"Hey Jake," I said looking at Paul as we looked at possible clothing stores.

"Where have you been?" He asked eagerly.

"Just shopping, sorry I didn't check my phone until now."

"You had me worried sick."

"Geeze Mom," I laughed, "Well do you want to meet up with me at that fancy restaurant in Port Angeles? Wear something nice. I'm really excited."

"Oh ok, I guess I will."

"Is Dad coming too?" I asked hopefully.

"Uh, hold on," There was muffled voices and then Jake was back, "Nope he doesn't feel well, he thinks we should start bonding."

"Alrighty," I said, "That's cool with me, meet you soon." I closed my phone and looked at Paul. "We need to make this fast because I need to get there before Jacob."

* * *

Paul dropped me off at Port Angeles and I adjusted my dress. It looked like I was on a date, but I just wanted to look nice. I picked out a black tube dress that was very form fitting. Red silk wrapped around my ribs finishing the piece. It showed off my figure and I loved my new black stilettos with red on the bottom. My hair was down past the middle of my back and super layered, and my part was on my left and I had choppy side bangs, so I curled it so it wouldn't look awful. My makeup covered most of the bruising so hopefully there wouldn't be any tension tonight.

I walked into the restaurant and ordered table for two. I sat down and waited patiently for Jacob. He eventually walked in with a white polo on and black dress pants. He sat down in front of me and smiled.

"You look nice," He said awkwardly.

"You do too," Suddenly, I laughed, "Wow, this is really weird, I feel like I'm on a date with my little brother."

"You think it's weird," He laughed, "The host said I had I fine date, gross. No offense."

I started laughing, "None taken." I ordered my fettuccine alfredo dinner and Jacob ordered spaghetti. The waitress was flirting with Jacob non-stop. I thought it was hilarious, and Jacob thought it was extremely awkward.

"Aw, you are hot," I laughed and Jacob almost spewed his drink.

"So, how was New York?" Jacob asked, completely avoiding the subject of me calling him hot.

"It was amazing Jacob!" I gushed, "I wish you would have come seen me. At night, it is so beautiful outside and you could go anywhere you wanted. It was like you could actually be free there."

"I wish I would've taken up that offer to come see you," He said sadly, "But, I had, things to do."

"You couldn't leave Bella," I said casually, "That's understandable."

"She's on her honeymoon with him right now," Jacob said angrily.

I sighed, "I'm sorry Jakey. But you know this happening to you only leads for something better."

"I know, I just thought she was the one, you know?"

"Ha! Tell me about it," I said pointing to the bruise that was barely showing under my right eye, "But you could even use me as an example, Noah obviously wasn't the one and it lead me back here to be with you, Dad, and Pau-eople." I slipped on accident and sipped my Dr. Pepper, pretending to look at my pasta.

"What did you say?" Jacob asked with a hint of anger in his tone.

"I said I was lead back to you, Dad, and other people." I said simply, hoping he wouldn't see through my lie."

"You were going to say Paul, weren't you?"

"Jacob, you know he's the reason I left, why would I say Paul?" I tried to look hurt the best I could.

"You're lying! I know when you're lying." I looked at him angrily.

"Fine, I ran into Paul at the beach."

"I know." Jacob said smiling.

"You do?" Now I was confused.

"Seth told me that you were about to run into Paul, earlier today." I opened my mouth about to say something and then closed it.

"Oh," I said quietly, "Then he must have told you Paul imprinted on me."

"HE WHAT!" Jacob yelled and stood up. My eyes widened.

"Ok guess not," I whimpered.

"Can you even imagine how sick I am of the entire situation of imprinting, and you out of all people are an imprint!" I started getting angry.

"Jacob Black, sit back down right now!" I whispered angrily. Jake looked around awkwardly and sat back down.

"Fine," He whispered, "But when she gives us back your card, we are leaving immediately!"

The waitress gave me back my card and the receipt that had her number written on it with a heart. Jacob grabbed my bruised wrist and pulled me outside of the restaurant to his car.

"Jake!" I whimpered, "That hurts, that's my bruised wrist."

"This is all that asshole Nolan's fault!" Jake yelled letting go of my wrist.

"Noah," I whimpered I looked at his car that was newly painted blue that used to be painted red, "Is that my Rabbit?"

"Yeah," Jake said, "Dad let me have it. It was a piece of crap."

"Don't diss my baby. I don't like it blue, I miss it red," I said sadly.

"Well, I hated it red," Jacob laughed as we got into the car. We drove in silence and I started to drift asleep when I heard Jake mumble, "Why does it have to be Paul?"

"Hmm?" I asked dazedly.

"Nothing, go back to sleep." I actually listened to my little brother for once and fell back asleep. I heard the car engine stop and something big and muscular pick me up.

"Wow Jake," I slurred, "You really are buff."

Jacob laughed and put me on my bed, taking off my heals. "You have to change the rest of your clothes, I don't want to see that side of my sister."

I sat up and looked into my suit case for a pair of colorful plaid boxers for girls that were too small and showed the edge of my butt, but I was too tired to care. I also threw on a hot pink tank top that was also too small. I ran a brush through my hair and washed my face. My bruises showed big time now that the make-up was gone. Everything was so dark and sickly colored that I brushed my teeth not looking into the mirror because it made me queasy. I walked back across the hall to my bedroom and laid in Rebecca's bed. I almost fell asleep when I heard a door slam followed by yelling.

I bolted out of my bedroom to see Jacob and Paul angrily looking at each other and I had never felt so small before in my life. Minus the fact that I am only five foot one.

Out of all the things that I could have said to stop this or things I could have done to stop it, I only had one word to sum it all up. And one word that could come out of my mouth.

"Shit."

* * *

_**Did you like it? I hope you did. I thought this chapter was really successful and I thought I could show you the great relationship that Jacob and Rachel really had. Please, please, please review. And I hope to update soon! Oh! I also added the title into the story and Paul was wiping away A LOT of Rachel's tears, so I hope you liked that too!  
**_


	8. Dear Diary

_**AN: So! This chapter is basically some of what happened in the last chapter, but I wanted to take a sneak peak of the past and have her read her diary I mention once in the chapter **__**Kissing Lessons. Basically Rachel kept her diary throughout the years I just wanted to keep out what she said so I can have an entire chapter of it. Also I had to do a lot of math in my head while typing this to figure out the dates for the diary. If the d**__**ate is wrong, I am EXTREMELY sorry, but I just wanted to make it seem more real. Feel free to tell me what you think about that idea. I've never done an entire "Diary" chapter, so I would not be offended if you didn't like it. Enjoy.

* * *

**_

"I told you to stay away from her now that she was back!" Jacob yelled at Paul who was trembling he was so angry.

"You knew I saw her at the beach! Why are you even mad?" I was still in shock and no words could come to my mouth.

"I didn't want you to talk to her or even look at her eyes!" Jacob yelled back getting even angrier.

"How could I stay away from her?"

"SHE'S MY FUCKING SISTER!" Jake screamed, "HOW COULD YOU IMPRINT ON HER!"

"LIKE I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!" Paul screamed back. I was starting to get extremely scared and I backed up.

"YOU LEFT HER ALONE AFTER YOU GUYS HAD BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE YEARS AND YOU GUYS WERE BEST FRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARTEN!" Jacob yelled finally, "SHE EVEN TOLD ME SHE HATED YOU FOR THAT. AND YOU JUST GO AND IMPRINT ON HER!" Paul was speechless. No tears rolled down his face like before, but he was hurt.

"Why my sister?" Jacob asked finally, voice cracking, "Out of all people, why Rachel, the one you hurt the most. You have no idea how hurt she was when you just ignored her like that. And you imprint on her to try and make it all better. But you didn't make it all better. The pain is still there, I can see it in her eyes." Paul looked at me finally. I backed up into the wall and felt trapped.

"Rachel?" Paul asked me for reassurance. But before I could speak Jacob yelled at him one more time.

"Don't speak to her!" he yelled, "Don't even talk to her. Just get out and don't come here again."

Paul looked at me one last time with a pained expression before leaving me. The door slammed and all I could do is stare at it. Jacob stood in front of me, his eyes burning with anger.

"It was for your own good, Rachel," He said reaching to hug me. I pushed away his hands and turned to go to my room.

"Just leave me alone," I whispered and basically ran to my room. I closed the door quietly and pulled out all of my childhood memories that I could find of me and Paul. I found old scrapbooks of us together and finally I found what I had been searching for, my old diary. It was my life saver throughout my childhood. It's a charcoal and black plaid with a strap that locked in the middle. The key was an old fashioned key where the end was a heart. I opened my diary and started reading all of my memories. Most of them included Paul.

* * *

_August 16, 1989_

_ Dear Diary,_

_ My daddy's friend Mr. Charlie Swan gave me you as a present for school tomorrow. My name is Rachel Nicole Black. I am five years old. I have long, straight, dark brown hair that goes all the way down to my butt. I have an identical twin named Rebecca. I know it's weird that I'm writing and I am only five, but my mommy and my daddy thought it was a good idea to teach me. Anyway! My first day of kindergarten is tomorrow and I'm super excited. I hope I find a girl other than my sister to be friends with. I don't like boys. All they do is throw mud in my hair when all I want to do is build a sand castle. I hope I don't have any boys in my class. If I do, I don't want to sit anywhere near them. Well, I just wanted to introduce myself, so bye._

_Love,_

_ Rachel.

* * *

_

_August 20, 1989_

_ Dear Diary,_

_ I met this boy named Paul on the first day of school and he is so cool. I think one day I am going to marry him. I have what mommy calls a crush on him. But he is just so cute! He says nice things to me all the time and always likes what I do. School is so cool because of Paul. I don't know what I would do if Paul never came to the same school as me. I bet we would find each other anyway. We were meant to be together. Well, Mom's coming to tell me goodnight. So bye._

_Love,_

_ Rachel.

* * *

_

_September 14, 1989_

_ Dear Diary,_

_ Today is my birthday! My mommy and daddy got me a lot of toys. We had Leah, Paul, and Becca's friend Sophie here. Paul got me a friendship bracelet. It was pretty and said "Paul and Rachel." After the celebration and everyone invited over left, Mom pulled me and Becca into our living room._

"_Rachel, Rebecca, your father and I have something to tell you." Becca and I followed Mommy into the living room and sat down on the couch. Mommy and Daddy stood in front of us holding hands. "_

_What is it Mommy?" Becca asked. "_

_Well Rebecca," Mommy said sweetly, "You and I are going to start packing things up in your room soon." I started bawling, thinking the worst._

"_WE'RE MOVING!" I cried. Mommy and Daddy looked at each other in shock. Dad came up to me and kneeled in front of me, cupping my face._

"_No, no, no __sweety__," He reassured me, "You and Rebecca are going to share rooms and have __bunk beds__." I stopped crying __instantly__ and __squealed__._

"_Yay! Thank you Mommy, thank you Daddy!" Becca looked shocked, and not in a good way._

"_Why my room?" she asked with a hint of anger in her voice._

"_Well," Mommy shifted weights awkwardly, "We thought about this since July, but Rachel's room is a lot bigger than yours is, so we can fit two beds in there." She looked at Daddy reassuringly and he nodded._

_But apparently Becca thought otherwise, "Well why do we have to share a room anyway? I like my room."_

"_Girls," Mommy said putting her hands on her hips, "Have you noticed anything different about me recently?" I did, Mommy has been gaining a little bit of weight and she eats a lot of spaghetti. The spaghetti probably made her gain weight._

"_You aren't skinny anymore?" Becca guessed confused. Mommy looked offended, but didn't say anything._

"_What she means to say is that you've gained some weight," I said nervously, trying not to make her mad, "I think it's because you've been eating so much spaghetti."_

_Mommy giggled and nodded, "Yes and there's a reason I've been eating so much spaghetti and why I've been gaining weight."_

_I realized exactly what was going on, "I'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY SISTER!" I squealed. Mommy and Daddy smiled and nodded. I was so excited, but Becca ran into what would be our new baby sister's room and started crying._

"_WHY ME!" she yelled. She still is crying. It's almost making me sad. Mommy said she found out in June, but didn't want to tell us until they figured out if it was a boy or a girl._

"_It's a girl," I squealed, "I just know it."_

"_Ok then," Mommy smiled mischievously, "We aren't going to tell you until when he's born, meaning once we move all of Rebecca's stuff into your room, you aren't allowed into the baby's room. I am so excited! I just know it's going to be a girl. If it's a girl I want them to name her Avril. If it's a boy, which it won't be, I want his name to be Paul. I hope I can be an awesome big sister for this new little baby. Got to go bye!_

_Love,_

_ Rachel

* * *

_

_January 31, 1990_

_ Dear Diary,_

_ Sorry I haven't written to you in a while, school has been the same__. Paul called me his best friend and I was so dumb and said I wanted to marry him. Paul just looked at me and didn't answer me. So I let it go. Mommy and Daddy have been in the baby's new room all day and every day. Rebecca wants nothing to do with the new__ baby coming. I wanted everything to do with it. But they won't let me in the room. They lock it when they're done looking in it. Mommy is huge now! I don't think she can get any bigger, but she isn't due for a month and a half. I'm worried the baby __won't__ s__urvive. Mommy tells me not to worry about it and that the doctors will take care of everything. I'm still worried._

_I love you,_

_ Rachel

* * *

_

_February 8, 1990_

_ Dear Diary,_

_ Mommy's having the baby! She peed her pants or whatever and now the baby is coming! I'm sitting in a waiting room of the hospital while the baby is being born in another room. Mr. Charlie Swan offered to watch me and Becca. His daughter, Isabella is two, and she's with him right now. He's paying more attention to her than me and Becca, so I am really bored. The doctor just came in, the baby's been born. I'll be right back!_

_So I now have a little brother! I would have rather had a little brother because Becca has been really annoying lately. Mommy looked really tired but this is what she said, "You want to name him honey?" I got so excited._

"_How about Paul?" I asked really excited. Mommy looked at me with a little disgusted look._

"_Um, maybe not your crush's name," Mommy said laughing._

"_Thought so," I laughed, "Ok then, how about Jacob?"_

"_Jacob," Mommy sighed, "It's perfect, thank you sweety." Becca didn't even go see Jacob either. She was mad that it was a boy. She was never really happy Mommy and Daddy had a baby in the first place. I'm going to go now and see Jacob. Bye now!_

_Love,_

_ Rachel.

* * *

_

I looked around and decided to skip pages. I turned to my middle school year's section. I was very organized, so I had tabs for every section of my life. I turned to a page that was one drastic day in seventh grade that I have forgotten about until now.

* * *

_November 19, 1997_

_ I cannot stand Becca! She is such a brat and has to get whatever she wants! She started hanging out with my sworn enemies Bailey and Autumn, and now she makes fun of me all the time! I hate her. She's even dating Paul now. I hate my life, and I think Sam likes me. It makes that situation even ten times worse because Leah likes him. My life just sucks. I did something last night that nobody can know except you. I cut myself. Not my wrist because I was too afraid to accidentally kill myself, but the top of my thigh. It's a weird spot, but it's the least noticeable. The weird thing is, is that it actually felt good. It eased the pain of all the shit that has happened in my life. My leg looks like I fell and that's all. Crap. Jacob just walked in and he saw my leg. This is what happened. He walked in my room asking for help with the TV and looked at my leg and said, "Dude, what happened to your leg?" I looked at him and all I could say was,_

"_I fell on the beach, don't tell Mom, I have it under control!" He looked at me with a funny face before looking at my cut again._

"_Did you do that yourself?" he asked and tears filled my eyes before they finally spilled over._

"_I just can't handle it Jakey!" I sobbed, "What am I going to do? Becca ruins my life and I'm at risk with my best friend and I just don't know what I'm going to do?" Jacob came up to me and comforted me and he's only in second grade! He listened to everything I said and he looks like he actually cares and he wants to help me._

"_Why are you even helping me at all?" I asked through my sobs. Jacob looked at me with the most serious face anyone has given me in my entire life._

"_Rachel," He said, "You're my big sister, and you're always there for me, so I'll always be there for you. If you aren't in good condition with your life, how do you expect me to be?" I laughed and said I don't know. Then he said something that made me feel completely better about myself, "I promise you that I will always be there for you and help you with choices that you may disagree with, but it is what is best for you. But only, if you do the same for me."_

"_Ok," I sniffled, "I promise."_

"_Pinky Promise?" He asked with a puppy dog look on his face._

"_Pinky Promise." And that was it. I hugged him and he left my room to go play video games with Dad. If I could trust anyone in the world, I know it would be Jacob. And it will be the same for him with me. I was there for him the day he was born, and I will be until the day we die. I'm going to go out for a walk now, so see ya!_

_-Rachel Black-

* * *

_

Now I was starting to feel extremely guilty. I flipped into the pages of my sophomore year, two days before Mom died.

* * *

_September 5, 2000_

_ Ugh! I can't stand my mother! She is such an evil bitch! She is just so mean to me and favors Rebecca! We just had an argument over everything important, Paul. She says I need to dump him because he isn't a nice guy and he is a bad influence on me. Please! I make my own decisions! It's not like I'm pregnant or anything, I just got caught making out with him on our couch and she came home, and my shirt happened to be off. That's not even that bad! At least we weren't having sex! And it's not like we were even going to have sex either. She never gets me anything I want. I have asked for so many piercings, and she has said no to all of them. But! She let Rebecca get a belly button ring because she got straight A's for once in her life. I always get straight A's! And what do I get? An industrial piercing. I didn't even want one that much, but that was the only thing she would let me get. Good thing she didn't tell me I could finally get a belly button ring because I already got one last December. I can't wait till she comes home from work today either because I just got two new piercings and a tattoo! I got my nose pierced, and I got a Monroe piercing! My tattoo is amazing! It's a paw print on my right hip. It's black in the center, and as it gets closer to the outside, it fades to red. I love it, but it kind of stings. I won't ever regret getting this tattoo. Mom's home, I'm going to go and show her my piercings. Wish me luck!_

_-Rae Black-

* * *

_

_September 6, 2000_

_ I swear, my mother is the worst person on the planet. Apparently, she doesn't like m piercings, but I'm keeping them anyway! She can't make me take them out, and she can't make me do anything! Ok so here's what happened. I walked into the kitchen when Mom got home and helped her with groceries. She never really looked at me and we started talking and I asked if I could go the movies with friends and she said sure. SO I left to get dressed in the sluttiest outfit I could find, smiled at her, and walked out the door. That's when she stopped me. _

"_What are you wearing?" she asked angrily. I smiled at her and simply said._

"_Just something I picked out myself. Do you like it? It's the height of fashion." _

"_No I do not," She said. That's when she saw my belly button and then my face._

"_When did you get all of these piercings?" She asked. Her face was getting red and I smiled._

"_Well," I smiled, "I've had the belly button one for almost a year. I got the other two yesterday, do you like them?"_

"_No," She sneered, "Take them out and go to your bedroom immediately!"_

"_Sorry," I said simply, "But you already said I could go. So bye!" I just walked out the door. I partied all night and when I came home, man Mom was pissed. What, it was only one in the morning._

"_Rachel Nicole Black!" She yelled, "You have no idea how deep of shit you are in right now!"_

"_Sarah Black!" I yelled back, "You have no idea how much I don't care!" _

"_Fine," She said, "Then just go to your room and leave me alone." I walked to my room and turned on the lights. Rebecca was at Autumn's house and so she wouldn't yell at me. I looked around and screamed. White walls, no posters, no nothing._

"_MOM!" I screamed, "WHAT DID YOU DO!"_

"_Well," She said sweetly, "You didn't follow my rules, so you don't get to have privileges. We are also going to take your door off once Billy gets home._

"_FUCK YOU!" I yelled._

"_Don't you ever say that to me again!" Mom said fiercely,_

"_FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!" I yelled again, "I HATE YOU! YOU'RE A BITCH!" I know I was being a little dramatic, but she deserved it._

"_I am so disappointed in you," she said sadly, "I never expected you to end up this way, and I messed up somewhere and made you an awful person. I slammed my door shut and looked at my empty room. She pisses me off so much. So I called up Paul and we went to a store and looked for new paint to buy. We got to the store and I thanked myself for actually getting a job this summer and earning a crap load of money. I bought brown and light pink paint along with Brown beads for the window and a light pink curtain. I was also happy that I had a white carpet. I also bought paintings of the Eiffel Tower and Audrey Hepburn and light pink roses that I would hand upside down. I bought brown and light pink candles that smelled like cinnamon and roses. I also got a new comforter and pillow cases for me and Rebecca. Everything was a lot cheaper than I expected and so Paul and I snuck back into my house and painted my room without Mom noticing. One wall was brown, and the opposite was light pink. Another wall was white with brown and pink polka dots, and the opposite was a big brown stripe, a smaller white stripe, a big light pink stripe, and then a smaller white stripe with the pattern repeating over and over again. When we finished completely, it was 9 o'clock in the morning and I thought I was about to pass out. Paul kissed me and left with all the evidence of painting with him. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and went to sleep. My door was locked so I didn't have Mom and dad barging in on me. I woke up about an hour ago at two o'clock. "What?" I groaned. It was Rebecca wanting in my room. I got up and cracked the door open. I asked her if Mom and Dad were home, and she said no. I let her in and she gasped when she came in the room._

"_You did this over night?" she asked shocked and I smiled. She hugged me and she just left. I'm going to go now, my Mom's home. _

_-Rae Black-

* * *

_

_May 11, 2001_

_ Sorry I haven't written in you for a while. My life just sucks. I killed my Mom, lost Paul forever, and Rebecca hates me now. The only person still there for me is Jacob. He's the only one that truly understands me and listens to me. Rebecca went off on me today and Jacob wasn't home, so all I could do is take it. I was sitting on my bed and she told me that she had sex for the first time. And I was a dumbass and said,_

"_I had sex with Paul last year." She got pissed and screamed at me._

"_You always have to do something first! A boy liked you first, you got popular first, you had your first kiss first, you had your first boyfriend first, you got your period first-"_

"_That's not really an accomplishment," I said._

"_It doesn't matter!" She yelled back, "You got anything in tumbling first, your first piercing first, EVERYTHING! Why do you always have to be better than me?" I burst into laughter._

"_Are you jealous of me?" I laughed, "I barely talk to you and you're jealous of me? Don't be. That's something stupid."_

"_You got more attention from Mom and Dad," She whispered, "You were favored. Even if you were a devil child, you were favored because you stood up for yourself. I was never mentioned or bragged about."_

"_Mom and Dad did not favor me," I objected, "I even made sure of it by being a devil child."_

"_You even killed Mom and paralyzed Dad and he still favors you because he feels sorry for you!" She yelled, "Everyone in school feels sorry for you." I punched her in the cheek and knocked her over. She looked at me and left the house crying. She caused me to start bawling and I almost killed myself, but that would only show that I was weak. But now, I lost my sister. I'm the worst person ever and I am selfish. But I couldn't kill myself because of Jacob. He's the only person in the world that still cares about me and I still love him. I'm going to go now. Dad just got home and he's yelling for me because of Rebecca's bruise. Bye._

_-Rachel Nicole Black-

* * *

_

That was the last page in my diary. I forgot how evil I was for a child and regretted everything. I got up and walked to my vanity, leaving my diary open on my bed. I didn't even realize that I tabbed the pages I read in red. Oh well. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked different from when I was in high school. I let my nose piercing grow in, but I still had all the other ones. I loved my Monroe piercing, but I looked childish. I dressed a lot more sophisticated and I got light brown and a little lighter than my hair color highlights to tone up my hair. I still looked like a teenager other than that. My boobs grew to a C cup though, thank god, but I was still extremely skinny. A door opening made me jump and blush. It was Jacob

"Hey," he said softly, "You ok?" I shook my head and he sat in my bed and leaned against the wall. He picked up my diary. "You had a diary?" he asked shocked and I nodded and smiled.

"Yeah I just hid it so you wouldn't find it. There's nothing bad in there about you, but I still didn't want you reading it. He flipped to the pages I just read and scanned them over. I sat next to him quietly until he was done.

"You only trusted me and Paul?" He asked surprised. I nodded. "Ew, you wanted to name me Paul?"

I laughed, "I had a huge crush on him."

"I remember that promise, and I kept it," Jake said softly, "I think you forgot, but you still kind of kept it."

"Sorry, I forgot about it."

"I never realized how much you cared about me and Paul until I read this," Jacob said, "I never knew how much you were a bitch either," I laughed at that, "You seemed to me like the greatest big sister ever because you were strong and you stood up for yourself."

"Well I wasn't," I said honestly, "I just put on a happy face and didn't give a shit about what people thought of me."

"That's kind of what happened to me, too," Jake smiled, "Except I listened to Mom and Billy more."

"Don't call him Billy," I said, "I hate it when you do that."

"Sorry," Jake apologized, "It's just that I've heard everyone call him Billy, so it just kind of grew on me."

"Yeah, well I bet he doesn't like it."

"He doesn't care, I asked him."

"Oh," I said awkwardly, "Never mind then." We sat there awkwardly and I looked at the bruises on my wrist.

"What happened to Noah?" Jacob asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Like did he go to jail?"

"Oh," I said quietly, "No he was proven innocent because he said I just liked rough sex, but yeah I got a restraining order and got the hell out of town."

"I hate hearing about your sex life all the time," Jacob said shaking his head, "I phased and saw everything between you and Paul and then fantasies that Paul has of you." I burst into laughter seeing Jacob's face.

"Trust me; it is way weirder for me."

"I don't think so," Jake said honestly, "I always thought of my sister as a good person, but nope! I thought Paul was making things up, but nope, this diary confirmed it." I looked at him funny.

"Paul tells you about me!" I asked wide eyed.

"NO! Everyone in the pack can read minds and Paul thinks about you a lot," Jake said blushing, "I hate thinking about those life scarring moments."

"Oh," I said blushing, "I didn't know that."

"Yeah, and that's what I came in here to talk to you about," Jacob said looking me straight in the eyes.

"My sex life?" I asked a tad bit disgusted.

"No, Paul imprinting on you," Jake said, "I know you guys won't be able to ignore it, but he hurt you and I will always be there for you. But you just need to be careful."

"Good," I smiled, "I know you guys never really got along so I would really like it if you did."

"What if I didn't get along with him?" Jacob asked mischievously.

"I'd kick your ass," I smiled and he laughed.

"Ha! Alright, I won't pick a fight with him," He surrendered, "But he gets angry quickly."

"Not when I'm around."

"Fine," Jake said, getting up to leave my room, "I'm leaving now though, my shift starts in like two minutes."

"Bye," I said and started to lie down.

"Love you Rae," Jake said leaving my bedroom.

"Love you too," I whispered. I can't believe I just got permission to date Paul. I started to finally drift off to sleep when I heard a knock on my window. "What now?" I asked myself annoyed. I looked outside and saw Paul. I opened my window, and he climbed in.

"Hey," He whispered and kissed my cheek, "I just wanted to see you."

"You didn't have to sneak in, Jacob doesn't care if we are together," I told him and he smiled.

"Such a nice kid," He said sarcastically. I climbed back into bed and he joined me. He was really warm and I kissed his bare shoulder. He shuddered and I smiled.

"I'm going to sleep, will you stay here tonight?" I asked him looking up at him.

"Of course," He smiled, "If Jacob gets mad it's your fault." I smiled and nodded.

"Goodnight," I whispered, "I love you."

"Sweet dreams." I hate it when people say sweet dreams. It gives me nightmares, but I didn't care because Paul would protect me. I finally fell asleep in Paul's arms, happy to be with him again.

* * *

_**Thank you for reading! Tell me all of your thoughts about the diary part, it's the only diary chapter that there will be, but I wanted it to be good. I won't know if you liked it unless you review, so review!**_


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